YouTube has a lost of great sexuality education resources but it can be hard to find among all of the “not safe for work” content. Here’s a few channels and videos that might be useful. One of the most difficult tasks sex educators report is explaining intimate acts. This can be uncomfortable and difficult so I’ve tried to focus on these difficult to teach topics. The videos may not be the best fit for the person/people you’re working with, but they can give you an idea where to start. The channels also have great resources for expanding your own education on sexuality topics.
The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH) has a lot of great videos. Is one of my favorite cites. In addition to having direct information they also have videos for parents (“Use Your Words” videos).
Healthchannel is a YouTube channel with short videos on a variety of health care issues including sexual health resources including a few I’ve listed below. The videos aren’t prefect. They don’t feature animations with people with disabilities and focus on heterosexual couples, but they give very precise, clear information.
Sexplanations is another YouTube channel. They have mini episodes on human sexuality topics from shared sexual behavior to STDs to anatomy. Again the videos aren’t perfect. They move a little too quickly than I would like, but I’ve selected a few I think could be helpful. They could also be good to expand your own understanding of various topics.
I’m just going to be honest. I think sex shops can be a little creepy. It really pushes my comfort zone to support someone purchasing sex toys not because I’m uncomfortable with the individual I’m working with’s sexual expression- I’m uncomfortable the sexual of expression of general patrons of the store. Usually the line between sexual exploitation and sexual affirmation is a nice, clear, thick, black line. But in a sex store it’s gets blurrier and it can be difficult to navigate. It pushes me to think about my own biases, but at the same time I don’t think all sex shops affirm sexuality equally.
That’s part of the reason I was so glad to stumble upon “Come As You Are”. The other reason is because they actually know things about serving people with disabilities. “Come As You Are” is a sex shop located in Canada (great for Torantoins, but less than great for Illinoisians). They have a wonderful website, are knowledgeable about people with all different abilities, and are responsive to questions. If you know of place that is safe and accessible or at least responsive to the needs of individuals with disabilities, please share.
The store was featured in this video which I found to be very enlightening in regards to things to consider when supporting someone with purchasing a sex toy. For one, I wasn’t really aware of some of the options out there. The video also goes into several was to match ability needs with sex toy functioning. I will warn you that streaming quality is not that great, but the content is excellent.
Another thing to think about is the use of wedges and ramps for sexual exploration and sexual expression. The Liberator
is probably the most popular line of sexual furniture. They look just like the wedges used in the exercise room of our day program (except the ads all have beautiful scantily clad women on them). Using tools for sexual positioning may be the only way some individuals can participate in intercourse or other sexual activities. The how to use videos on their website are more erotic than instructional. There are videos online geared toward instruction. They are explicit, but the participants are fully clothed throughout. Click here for the male positioning
and here for female positioning
Below is a “Hierarchy: Masturbation Training” by Lisa Mitchell, LCSW-R at Penn State. Her plan for what she calls, “private touching”, was specifically developed for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders, but I think it is a good general framework. The hierarchy goes from lowest level of support to highest level of support. Across the board, masturbation is a topic people want more information about. I think this is a nice way to think about what kind of education or training is available as well as what you might want to try before moving on to something more intensive. I have also included a link to her entire powerpoint. She covers other topics/tips you may find interesting (relationship checklist, key concepts for topic areas, teaching techniques, problem behaviors).
- When appropriate, work with families and/or residence to establish a visual “private time schedule.”
- When appropriate, supply individual with lubricant, explaining that it is for use during “private time.”
- Meet with individual. Present illustrations of same sex persons masturbating, in conjunction with verbal explanation regarding technique.
- Meet with individual. Use illustrations and anatomical model in conjunction with verbal explanation of technique.
- Meet with individual. Use anatomically correct dolls to demonstrate appropriate masturbatory technique, in conjunction with verbal explanation.
- When appropriate, supply masturbatory aids such as body pillows, magazines, collages of stimulating pictures, vibrating pillows, masturbation sleeves, masturbation pumps, or vibrators. Explain safe usage of such aids.
- Meet with individual. Arrange for multiple viewings (when necessary) of instructional masturbation movies “Handmade Love” for males, or “Fingertips” for females. Viewings should occur in the individual’s bedroom or the private location where masturbation will be allowed to occur. Trainer may need to supply a verbal explanation while simultaneously viewing the tape to reinforce principles. (I would have the person watch on their own before feeling the need to view with another present. In general I think the videos are very good but very explicit. You could use the video in place of the verbal instructions indicated in the hierarchy).
- For individuals with more significant challenges, consider use of ABA type
approach (preferably done with relatively unfamiliar trainer) to teach more
successful masturbatory technique. Shape up steps one at a time (e.g. “Pull pants
and underwear down”, “Lay on belly”, “Put pillow between legs”, “Rock from side to
side”. Or “Pull pants down”, “Sit on bed”. “Put fingers around penis”, “Rub up and
down, up and down.”) – I have heard of this method, but I do not know anyone personally who has ever instructed on masturbation at this level. I would want to have a very comprehensive plan on how this would be implemented, full team support, and special attention paid to protecting the individual being instructed and the person doing the instruction.
I found this great (free) book online. Although it targets parents, caregivers, and professionals who work with individuals who are deaf-blind and significantly developmentally delayed- you may find useful info even if this not your target population. Kate Moss & Robbie Blaha’s overall approach to education considers four basic tools for instruction: routines, units, teachable moments, and behavior plans. Chapters include …
Chapter 1 – Introduction
Chapter 2 – Sexuality Education
Chapter 3 – Developing an Instruction Plan
Chapter 4 – Modesty
Chapter 5 – Appropriate Touch and Personal Boundaries
Chapter 6 – Menstruation
Chapter 7 – Masturbation
Chapter 8 – Sexual Health Care
Chapter 9 – Sexual Abuse
I just want to highlight a couple of things I found particularly useful. They provide instructions for developing a sexual education policy and provide a model policy as well as sample permission forms. I also thought that their plan for supporting with menstruation was well thought out and useful.
There’s also the Texas School for the Blind and Visually-Impaired’s website
, which offers some strategies for supporting and educating visually impaired individuals about many topics such as gender roles, social skills, personal safety, gender identity, sexual language, masturbation, and reproductive anatomy.