Making decisions about dating can be tough, especially if you don’t really know what types of decisions to make. This graphic can be used to help steer the conversation about dating and how to make healthy decisions. It is available for download here.
Author: Sarah Durante
Rewire News Group
Rewire News Group is a news website that is focused on sexual health and social justice. They are looking to “reshape the national dialogue on all things sex by making it more inclusive, positive, and centered on social justice.” The website itself is not focused on intellectual disabilities, however, they do offer some amazing articles about issues in the disability community.
Disabled People Are Still Being Forcible Sterilized- So Why Isn’t Anyone Talking About It?
The Fight for Reproductive Rights Too Often Excludes Disabled Parents
Online Dating Websites
Online dating has become popular in the community, and we’re here to share some good dating websites with our readers!
**Please note that for all of these websites, you must be 18+ to use**
Spectrum Singles: This dating website is exclusively for people who are on the autism spectrum. This website goes past the two-gender (male/female) belief and offers many gender identities for its users to use to identify themselves, such as transgender, androgyne, agender, intersex, and genderfluid. There is also the option to search for others using these options. Spectrum Singles is not just for people looking for dating, but also friendship.
Whispers4U: This dating site has been around since 2002, and is designed to help “differently abled individuals” find love! This website offers video tutorials, virtual flirting, webcam chatting, 24/7 support, and many other features! On top of this, the site doesn’t discriminate based on ability. Everyone is allowed to join this site to find relationships and friendships. This site constantly checks for scammers, and is a top rated disabled dating site!
Special Bridge: This is a family owned dating site that allows users to build relationships, friendships, and find pen pals! They mostly focus on match-making. It’s users can take a match-making quiz that connects them with other users across the country. They also offer support forums, run background checks on users (to ensure they’re real people!), is monitored for inappropriate behavior, and is an overall safe choice.
Disabled Passions: This site is a good mix between social networking and dating. This site consists of a lot of forums that are organized by interests. Users can go onto the forums and find other people that they identify with. The site also uses math-making services and offers many options for virtual flirting and chatting.
For even more sites, check out this article: Best Disabled Dating Sites
The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods
The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods is a comprehensive guide for people ages 9-16. This book covers the basics of menstruation and offers direct advice on what exactly to expect when you start your period. On top of this, it provides advice for everyone, not just the person menstruating. This book offers advice to the parents or caregivers, and alleviates some anxiety that people face when asking for help. This book was created in consultation with young people and doctors, so it’s a great resource.
The author of The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods, Robyn Steward, is Autistic herself, and made this book accessible and as inclusive as possible. This book is written in plain language, is straightforward, and suits the needs of Autistic individuals. The book offers step-by-step photos and instructions on how to change pads/tampons, and discusses alternatives to those. She also highlights what may be sensory issues for autistic people.
The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods can be purchased here: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Friendly-Guide-Periods-Robyn-Steward/dp/1785923242
It’s extremely important for Autistic individuals (and those around them) to have a plan for handling menstruation. Someone’s first period can be a stressful, painful, and anxiety-inducing experience. Stress can be planned for an alleviated with careful education and preparation. This book is a fantastic resource and a great way to open up conversation about periods. For more information on planning for menstruation, check here: https://asdsexed.org/2012/06/08/menstruation-plan-26/
Parent Tip Sheets
Navigating developmental stages, education, and sex education can be extremely difficult. The Birds & The Bees team put together a parent tip sheet that offers basic information and resources for parents of autistic children. View the tip sheets in the slide show and download below.
Sex Ed for Self-Advocates
The Organization for Autism Research (OAR) was founded by parents and grandparents. OAR strives to use science to address social, educational, and treatment concerns in the Autism community. Their mission is to fund research, provide useful information and resources to the community, as well as hold programs to improve quality of life for individuals with Autism.
The OAR has put together an online guide for sexuality and sex ed. This guide is self-paced and intended for people on the Autism Spectrum aged 15 and older. This guide consists of nine modules: Public vs Private, Puberty, Healthy Relationships, Consent, Dating 101, Sexual Orientation/Gender Identity, Am I Ready?, Sexual Activity, Online Relationships and Safety. Each module consists of a video overview and 10-15 smaller sections.
This guide is completely free and can be accessed at the link below:
Erotic Audios
While many people are familiar with pornography, it’s not always suited for everybody. Some people may become overstimulated, overwhelmed, or just downright uncomfortable when trying to enjoy an adult film. While there are some alternatives, like erotic scripts and stories, there is still an increasing amount of people looking for more options. An increasingly popular alternative is erotic audios, which are recordings of actors engaging in sexual activity.
PsstAudio is a website that is dedicated to erotic audios, scripts, and texts. This website allows users to listen to a library of audios, as well as upload their own. It’s easy to navigate, search, listen to and save audios, and it’s completely free to users. You must be over the age of 18 to create and account. The website’s homepage can be found here: https://psstaudio.com/
@LingerieLitClub is both a Twitter account and a Discord server that promotes erotic audios. They constantly post links to new audios, as well as hold events on their Discord server. They hold Intimate Poetry Nights, Q&A nights with audio performers and authors, as well as large group calls where you can speak to other people a part of the server. All of their events are completely free and the audios they post are accessible to everyone! Their links can be found below:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lingerielitclub?lang=en
Discord: https://discord.com/invite/llc
Erotic audios offer a new way for people with Intellectual disabilities to find sexual pleasure because they are a less stimulating alternative to pornography. These new options promote sexual health for everybody and have made pleasure more accessible!
Woodbine House
While the mainstream is becoming increasingly aware and accepting of disabilities, there is still a lack of representation. People with both physical and intellectual disabilities rarely ever see people like them in books, movies, on TV, or in many other forms of entertainment. On top of this, resources regarding sexual health, relationships, and puberty for disabled individuals practically don’t exist.
Woodbine House is a publishing company that specializes in informational books for individuals with intellectual disabilities. They have many books aimed at all different age groups that provide information on an array of topics pertaining to disabilities. On their website, they have different sections for Down Syndrome, Autism, and ADHD/ADD. Some of their sexual health based books include: Teaching Children With Down Syndrome About Their Bodies, Boundaries and Sexuality, Boyfriends & Girlfriends: A Guide to Dating for People with Disabilities, and A Boys/Girls Guide to Growing Up. These books help teach people to identify body parts, how to identify/express emotions, personal hygiene, dealing with puberty, relationship safety and many other things.
Every one of their books features people with the disability they’re discussing, and they provide accurate and accessible books for all ages. These books are non-clinical and easy to read, and they are intended for everyday use. On top of this, they’re extremely accessible and informational. This company consistently provides parents and children with informational books that are practical, empathetic and empowering, and they push disabled issues into the public eye. It is a great example of increasing representation and inclusivity in media!
The website is linked below:
https://www.woodbinehouse.com/
Mad Hatter Wellness
Mad Hatter Wellness is a company that creates comprehensive sexual health programs that teach and empower people with intellectual disabilities. Their curriculum Sexuality for All Abilities, contains activities and lessons that cover many different topics regarding sexuality and relationships. This is a holistic program that combines mindfulness techniques to address sexuality topics and provides a safe environment that ensures growth and learning. They offer a student and an adult option of the curriculum and can be purchased for $375 at the link below.
On top of this, Mad Hatter Wellness also sells other tools to help teach and practice topics that are covered in the curriculum. Their Boundaries Flip Book that form sentences regarding boundaries. It created discussion for healthy boundaries, as well as highlights what is okay and what isn’t, and when these behaviors are appropriate. On top of this, they also have a Family Discussion Guide, which offers activities, information, and discussion questions that will help families discuss healthy relationships and boundaries. In addition to these, they offer self-paced online courses, and more physical resources that can be used to implement the curriculum.
Accessible Sex Toys
While many other household items are changing and being developed more accessibly, any industries regarding sex often stay avoided. Sex is such a taboo topic in general, even more so in the disabled community. There are many rumors and assumptions made about sexuality in the disabled community, the most prevalent myth is that people with any type of disabilities don’t have sex or experience sexual pleasure. However, that’s not true. Sex is a basic human function, and everyone, regardless of ability, is entitled to it. Many times, sex toys are extremely inaccessible for people with physical and intellectual disabilities. Whether they’re not easy to physically work with, or they’re too stimulating, sex toys aren’t usually designed with all types of bodies in mind.
Come As You Are is an online business specializing in high-quality, ethically sourced, and affordable sex toys for all ability levels. This company has a wide variety of sex toys that are designed to work for people with all types of disabilities. When making their toys, they keep topics like mobility, privacy, fatigue, and many others in mind when creating sex toys. They are very transparent about how their toys are made, and they take suggestions about how to better improve their toys and make them more inclusive. They say, “It’s our experience that doesn’t come ‘naturally’ to everyone. We consider it our responsibility to do the hard work that makes it easier to explore.”
On top of this, their website has many articles and resources that talk about inclusivity in the sex industry. Their articles discuss choosing the right sex toy depending on your ability, information about condoms, and many other aspects of sexuality. They encourage embracing sexuality healthily, despite your skill level, and are pushing the sex industry in a more inclusive direction!
The website’s home page is linked below:
Also, here’s more information from our team about the importance of affirming sexual expression! (article linked below)
https://asdsexed.org/2013/02/01/affirming-sexual-expression-accessible-sex-toys/
SHEIDD Project
The Sexual Health for Individuals with Intellectual/Developmental Disabilities (SHEIDD) project promotes comprehensive and accessible sex education for youth with with intellectual or developmental disabilities. They’ve interviewed individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and found out what they want from sexual education. They’ve co-created guidelines for educators, parents, peers, or other individuals associated with someone with a DD (which they call “support people). These guidelines are holistic, and they help individuals understand themselves, what their rights are, how to express themselves, and how to build healthy relationships. The SHEIDD project also provides resources, trainings, and teaching tools on their website. They partner with various organizations around the country and help to holistically educate individuals with disabilities.
These guidelines are free to anyone, and can be accessed at the link below:
https://multco.us/school/sexual-health-youth-developmental-disabilities
Oak Hill Positive Choices
Oak Hill Center for Relationship and Sexuality Education (CRSE) looks to educate and increase access to important sexual health information through various preventative programs. They also aim to decrease the vulnerability to sexual abuse that the intellectual/developmental disability community endures. They offer different curriculums, workbooks, parent/caregiver workshops, professional development workshops and therapeutic education.
Their most recent curriculum, Positive Choices, is designed for secondary students and aims to improve critical judgement about sexual health and relationship safety. On top of this, students will learn life skills, safe boundaries, women’s and men’s health, healthy relationships, and sexuality. This curriculum can be purchased on the Oak Hills website and costs $430. The teacher’s manual can be purchased for $180, and the student workbook is $25. Information is linked below: http://relationshipandsexuality.oakhillct.org/positive-choices/
Open Future Learning
Open Future Learning is a company that offers a wide variety of online training for staff, or anyone else working with individuals with disabilities. They offer modules in abuse prevention, communication, advocacy, and many more topics. They have staff training modules, 30 minute programs, and an audio learning module. Membership can range from $112-$2263 per month, depending on the amount of active users. Linked below is Open Future’s Homepage.
https://www.openfuturelearning.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=login.home
Sex Ed Rescue
Properly educating children on sex, puberty, and many other related topics can be challenging for parents. Many parents struggle with how they should speak to their child about these topics, and when the time is right. Sex Ed Rescue is a YouTube channel designed to educate parents on how to talk to their kids about these topics. This channel includes instructional videos, Q&A’s, children’s book reviews, and many other educational resources. It is a great resource to help parents educate their children on sex. It also helps to create a more age-appropriate environment for the child, and encourages comfortable communication between the child and the parent.
Linked below is the channel’s introduction video and the channel’s homepage.
Teen Talk Adapted for All Abilities
Health Connection is a company that designs sex education curriculum for teachers. Teen Talk: Adapted for All Abilities is an adaptation of their Teen Talk curriculum, and is designed to cater to 7th to 12th grade students with disabilities. This is an adaptation of This curriculum focuses on tolerance, respect, and personal values articulation. It addresses topics like sexuality, gender roles, and reproductive healthcare. This curriculum also uses gender inclusive language. The Adapted for All Abilities can be purchased for $345 (plus tax). You can find more information at the link below:
The Birds and The Bees 