ASD

Guide For Gynecology and Testicular Exams

/ Rebecca Salesky

Testicular and gynecological exams are very important to the health of your reproductive organs. These exams help to play a critical role in early detections of cancer which can help to increase chances of successful treatment. Testicular exams are used to check for lumps, swelling or changes in the testicles and identify other issues like infections or injuries. Gynecological exams are used to examine the uterus, ovaries, and cervix for any abnormalities along with screening for cancers, infections or other health issues. Overall, these exams are an important part of sexual health. Make sure you are going to get one around once a year. Here is a step-by-step guide of what to expect during these exams.

Testicular Exams:

Purpose: The reason you should get one done is to help detect changes in the testicles early on such as lumps, swelling, or anything that is out of the normal that could indicate cancer or other conditions.

Who should be getting one: A person who has biological male reproductive parts. Men should start getting these around age 15 every year with a healthcare provider.

What to expect during this exam: First you will talk to the doctor. They will ask you questions such as family history and if you are sexually active. They will also ask if you have any concerns that you would like to address. After they will give you privacy to undress from the waist down. You are able to keep your shirt on during this. After the doctor will do a visual check of the scrotum and groin area. Lastly, they will feel each testicle using their fingers to check size, shape, tenderness, or if there are any lumps.

Always remember that at any time during this if you feel uncomfortable you can ask the doctor to stop. You are able to ask any questions you make like and have the doctors explain these steps to you as well.

Gynecology exam:

Purpose of these exams: These exams are important for maintaining reproductive health and catching early problems such as cervical or ovarian cancer. Gynecologists can also help you show your options for different birth control methods such as the pill, IUD, the patch and many others. 

Who should be getting one: Anyone with female reproductive organs should see a gynecologist. Most should start getting exams starting at 21 or sooner if you are sexually active. You can also start going younger if you have any concerns or irregular periods.

What to expect during these exams: Starting off the doctors will come in and discuss any general health concerns or questions you might have. They will ask if your menstrual cycle is regular or if you have concerns about this.

  1. External exam: the docotor will look at the outside of your vagina area to check for irritation, swelling, or any other visible concerns.
  2. Pelvic exam: The doctor will gently examine the internal organs (uterus and ovaries) They do this by inserting one or two gloved fingers while genetly pressing on the abdomen to feel for anything out of the normal.
  3. Speculum exam: It is a medical tool that is used to open the vaginal walls so the doctor can see the cervix. This should not be painful. It can be a little uncomfortable or have some pressure. During this the doctors may collect a small sample of cells from the cervis to screen for early signs of cervical cancer. This is called a pap smear and only takes a few seconds. 

Always remember that at any time during this if you feel uncomfortable you can ask the doctor to stop. You are able to ask any questions you make like and have the doctors explain these steps to you as well.

How to set up an appointment:

Find a local gynecologist or place that does testicular exams. look at the reviews to find out if it has good reviews and people like the doctor. One you find a place you like see if it is covered by your health insurance. You can do this by calling your insurance or the office of the doctor. Look at you schedule and see what times work for you. Call the place you choose and tell them you would like to make an appoitment. Most of the time on this call you will need to provide your name, date of birth, health insurance, and what your concerns are. After they say you are all set, you are all good to go!

Common concerns 

  1. They are painful: these exams should not be painful at all. If they are painful make sure you let your doctor know so they can help figure out what is going on.
  2. Only get these exams when you are sexually active: you definitely should get these exams while you are sexually active but you should also get them before if you have any concerns. Also get them if testicular or cervix/ovary cancer runs in your family. 

For more information about these exams click on the links below:

Testicular exam – Mayo Clinic

What Happens During a Gyno Exam, From Start to Finish – ScienceInsights

Overall testicular and gynecological exams are an important part of maintaining overall sexual and reproductive health. These exams help you have a peace of mind in early detection of cancers, infections, and any other concerns you may have. Although this can feel nerve-wracking to do, they are very quick, safe, and not painful. Make sure you talk to your doctor if you feel uncomfortable at any time.

Understanding Pregnancy Emotions

/ cammih

It is very normal to experience a range of emotions when you find out you are pregnant, since it is a major life event that brings about a lot of change. It’s important to remember that every experience is valid and part of the parenthood journey.

Common Reasons for Pregnancy Emotions

Hormones: There are significant hormonal shifts, which can have an intense impact on your emotions. Your estrogen and progesterone hormones fluctuate, which then influences the hormones that regulate your mood (serotonin and dopamine), leading to mood swings and heightened emotions.

Body and body image changes: Your body goes through a lot of physical changes (weight gain, changes in posture, changes in skin, etc.) which can sometimes provoke emotions about body image and self-esteem. Some expectant parents may feel proud that their body’s changing to nurture life, but others may experience feelings of discomfort or insecurity.

Stress: This is a very stressful time for parents, and you may feel stressed about finances, relationship adjustments, childbirth itself, and parenting. Your body heightens its stress response system (your cortisol levels) which can lead to feelings of anxiety, mood swings, and irritability.

Fatigue: Changing hormones, difficulty sleeping, and stress can cause fatigue and exhaustion, which is very common during pregnancy. This can further heighten feelings and make you emotional.

Emotional Changes Throughout Pregnancy

First trimester: Can bring on a lot of early pregnancy emotions and first-trimester mood swings. You may experience a whirlwind of feelings as you come to terms with the reality of being pregnancy, and may feel excited, anxious, and/or overwhelmed.

Second trimester: Experience a welcome break from intense emotions of early pregnancy. You may feel more stable and have more balanced emotions, but you may continue to feel anxious or stressed.

Third trimester: As you’re preparing for childbirth, it can evoke even stronger emotions. You may be fearful of the unknown, but also excited about the arrival of a child. Common feelings include anticipation and excitement, occasional impatience, and anxiety.

Managing Emotional Changes During Pregnancy

It’s important to be able to identify and label what you’re feeling, so that it can be addressed in healthy and effective ways. Be mindful of what you’re experiencing in the present moment. You also should practice self-compassion by acknowledging the work that your body is doing by being pregnant, and accepting these changes.

NewYork-Presbyterian provided some strategies to manage your emotional changes during pregnancy:

Title: Managing Emotional Changes During Pregnancy. On the top-right page, black and white clip art of an ultrasound and a sock. Two boxes on top, two below. Upper-left box: Connect with Others: Reach out to friends and family members! Let them know how you're doing and how they can help. Upper-right box: Take Time for Yourself: Spend some time doing activities that bring you enjoyment; You could read a book, watch a movie, or listen to music. Bottom-left box: Find Ways to Manage Stress: Make time for a stress-relieving activity every day, such as yoga or meditation. Bottom-right box: Write About Your Feelings: It may help to write down your feelings about having a baby or becoming a parent. At the bottom of the page, a clip art image of a person holding an ultrasound of a fetus.

When to Seek Help for Pregnancy Mood Swings

There is no shame in reaching out to a mental health professional when you’re struggling. Symptoms of depression can sometimes resemble pregnancy mood swings, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends to speak to your provider if you have any of these signs for at least two weeks:

  • Depressed mood most of the day, almost every day
  • Loss of interest in work or other activities
  • Persistent feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or worthlessness
  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual
  • Loss of appetite or other concerns around weight
  • Trouble paying attention, concentrating, or making decisions
  • Thoughts about death or suicide


Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents

/ cammih

Gender dysphoria is a sense of unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their sex assigned at birth and gender identity. In adolescence, especially around puberty when young teenagers’ bodies are changing, and they begin exploring their sexual and romantic identities, gender dysphoria typically increases around this time. Included below are some helpful definitions to include in discussions around gender dysphoria, a visual aid tool to discuss how someone may feel if they experience gender dysphoria, and helpful resources from transgender people talking about their gender identity.

Definitions to incorporate while discussing gender dysphoria:

  • Biological sex – label assigned at birth based on physical characteristics (e.g., chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive organs)
  • Primary sex characteristics – changes in the reproductive organs (males: growth of testes, penis, scrotum, and spermarche; females: growth of the uterus and menarche)
  • Secondary sex characteristics – visible physical changes that occur during puberty (males: broader shoulders, a lower voice; females: breast development, hips broaden)
  • Gender Expression – learned roles, behaviors, and actions of women/girls and men/boys (i.e., how society expects certain genders to act and look like)
  • Gender identity – our sense of who we are and how we see and describe ourselves
  • Transgender – people whose gender identity does not match their sex assigned at birth

*For clarification: based on your biological sex (what physical characteristics you are born with), society assigns you a gender (how you should act, what you should be interested, and your role in the world)*

Title: Gender Dysphoria. A single text box titled "What is it?" with the definition below: gender dysphoria is a sense of unease a person may feel when their gender identity does not match their biological sex. A single-column table titled "How you may feel:" In descending order: your gender identity conflicts with your biological sex, you are comfortable only when in the gender role of your preferred gender identity, a strong desire to hide or be rid of physical signs of your biological sex (e.g., breasts or facial hair), discomfort with your body or anatomy, and/or a preference for gendered clothing.

Helpful Resources:

Teen Vogue has an article discussing what it’s like to be transgender and living with gender dysphoria.

The Guardian also has an article where people who identify as transgender discuss their experience with exploring their gender identity. Although gender dysphoria is not the main focus, it is thoroughly discussed in the experiences of the transgender people featured.

This article from BuzzFeed includes people with disabilities exploring their gender identity and how it intersects with their disability. Gender dysphoria is mentioned, but the article mainly focuses on how society has created barriers for transgender people with disabilities. It would still be beneficial to use, as it brings attention to an often overlooked area of the disability and transgender community.

Accessible Mental Health Services

/ cammih

Accessible mental health services can be a challenge for people with disabilities, as there can be a lack of specialized provider training and difficulties with financial costs. We are defining accessibility in terms of disability and financial costs. This post provides a few mental health services for people with disabilities, with some services offering in-person services and others offering both in-person and online services.

Envision Unlimited

Mission Statement: “Envision Unlimited is a certified Community Mental Health Provider offering a full complement of behavioral health services to people with a variety of mental health concerns. We are committed to assisting clients in their best and meaningful lives.”

  • Offers outpatient therapy services to adults and adolescents, both in person and via telehealth
  • Based in Chicago, Illinois

Envision Unlimited emphasizes that no one will be denied access to services due to an inability to pay, and a discount is available.

There is also a program called ENVISION MORE for people with disabilities.

Title: ENVISION MORE. Year-long campaign to promote greater choice, independence, and inclusion for individuals with disabilities and mental health challenges. Provides comprehensive, high-quality services to help members "Envision More" of what they want in life. Box 1: More Ways to Thrive; Specialized programs like art-making, exploring nature, recovery-focused services, and cooking classes. Box 2: More Choice; Increased autonomy over daily life, such as personal living arrangements, community engagement, and hobbies. Box 3: More Independence and Inclusion; Assists members in becoming active participants in their communities. Box 4: More Support Services; Full spectrum of care on the community level, and includes day programs, employment services, mental health services, and specialized foster care. The logo for Envision Unlimited is in the upper right-hand corner.

NYSTART (New York Systemic, Therapeutic, Assessment Resources and Treatment)/CSIDD (Crisis Services for Individuals with Intellectual and/or Developmental Disabilities)

Goal: “…to build relationships and support across service systems to help people remain in their homes and communities and enhance the ability of the community to support them.”

  • Offers crisis prevention and response services to people who have both developmental disabilities and complex behavioral needs, as well as to their families and those who provide supports
  • Services are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to OPWDD (The New York State Office for People with Developmental Disabilities) eligible individuals age 6 and over who meet NYSTART/CSIDD eligibility
  • Based in New York, must be a New York resident 

The Arc

The Arc company logo.

Mission Statement: “Promoting and protecting the human rights of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and actively supporting their full inclusion and participation in the community throughout their lifetimes.”

Delaware Disability Resources and Advocacy Organizations

  • All of the following services are based in Delaware

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Mission Statement: “NAMI Delaware supports, educates, and advocates for an improved quality of life for individuals and families affected by mental health conditions.”

  • Offers a variety of signature programs, an annual education conference, and special events (for individuals, families, and professionals to receive support and information)
  • Shapes public policy, has a toll-free NAMI Delaware Helpline, and works with media, educators, healthcare professionals, and elected and appointed officials (to raise awareness, fight stigma, and encourage understanding)
  • This link is for Delaware’s NAMI program, however, there are more than 650 NAMI State Organizations and Affiliates across the country

Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health

Mission Statement: “To improve the quality of life for Delaware’s citizens by promoting health and well-being, fostering self-sufficiency, and protecting vulnerable populations.”

  • Offers help for mental health issues (in which all services are free, and any referrals are available regardless of insurance), support groups and one-on-one counseling, suicide prevention resources, and other additional resources. 

Mental Health Association in Delaware

Mission Statement: “The Mental Health Association in Delaware strives to strengthen knowledge, resources and support around mental health and recovery.”

  • Offers education, support, and advocacy
  • Support: Offers wellness groups (one is a disability & chronic illness haven wellness group), mental health screening, and a peer support program with the mental health court (mental health court is available for people who have been charged with crimes because of a behavioral health disorder)

Beyond The Myths: Inclusive Sex Education and Mental Health Awareness

/ Rebecca Salesky

Exploring your sexuality can be confusing, especially when you start engaging in sexual acts with other people for the first time. Virginity is the term used to describe the state of never having had sex, and “losing your virginity” can be nerve-wracking. Even the word “losing” is not the best description, because you should be gaining something from your experience instead. There are many misconceptions around sex that can contribute to feeling anxious about having sex for the first time. This is a guide that debunks myths and discusses the many ways you can have sex to help you feel a little more comfortable when engaging in sexual acts, and the importance of your mental wellbeing when it comes to this.

Sex Myths

Myth Reality 
You will feel different after having sex.People often believe after having sex for the first time it will instantly change everything and bring a complete happiness in your life. The truth is there is no “right” way to feel after having it. You can feel happy, anxious, calm, excited, nervous, or even the same. All of these reactions are completely normal. 
Pain is always present.First time sex can feel uncomfortable at first. The vagina is muscle so when it is being strecthed it comes along with discomfort. But with communication, patience, and enough foreplay with your partner the discomfort will last for only a little bit. If the pain is severe or ongoing it is a good idea to talk to a healthcare professional because sex is not supposed to hurt. 
It will be perfect and magical. Watching television they depict first time sex as something magical and smooth. In reality that is not always the case. First time sex can be awkward and nervewracking and that is okay! Learning and figuring things out with your partner is completely normal. It does not have to be perfect for it to be meaningful.  
Talking about boundaries will ruin the mood.This is absolutely not true. If there is something you do not feel comfortable with when about to have sex with your partner, make sure you say it. You saying it will not ruin the mood whatsoever. It will just make sure that you are being treated with respect and that you are not uncomfortable during the experience. When both partners feel safe and heard, it will create a more positive experience. 
Penetration is required. This is a myth because that statement limits the definition of sex to only penis-in-vagina orientation. Intimacy includes many forms such as oral sex, touching, mutual stimulation, and many other experiences. 

Diving Deeper into Inclusive Sex

As mentioned above, “penetration is required” for sex is a myth because of the many ways to be sexual, and based on your pain or mobility restrictions, sensory sensitivities, gender identity, and sexual orientation, sex may be different than how you imagined it. There is no one or “real” way to have sex; it is whatever you and your partner are comfortable with, so it’s important to talk to your partner about boundaries and what sex you would like to have.

There are many different ways people have sex:

  • Anal sex – a penis is inserted into another person’s anus
  • Oral sex – a person licks a person’s vulva, vagina, or clitoris or a person kisses/sucks a person’s penis
  • A person kisses and sucks the other person’s nipples
  • A person masturbates with another person
  • A person touches another person’s vagina or penis
  • Sex toys (ex: dildos…) are used

This fact sheet provides more information on having sex.

Being comfortable in your sexuality and expressing yourself sexually can help you understand yourself better and be in control of your own life. It can also give you confidence to have sex successfully (based on your own personal view of what “successful” sex is) and deepen your connection with your partners.

Resources To Promote Positive Mental Health

For LGBTQ+ individuals with disabilities, the LGBTQ+ community and spaces can act as a protective factor as it helps foster a sense of belonging, reduce isolation, and supports positive self-identity. However, LGTBQ+ people with disabilities also report higher rates of mental health concerns. The Trevor Project has a guide on their website for supporting LGBTQ+ people with disabilities, including direct links to resources that can be found on page 14 on the PDF format.

We wanted to attach some resources if you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns. The Cleveland Clinic provides more information about suicide and its warning signs on its website at https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/suicide.

The Never a Bother campaign is a youth suicide prevention awareness and outreach campaign for young people and their parents, caregivers, and allies. To get involved, please visit https://neverabother.org/

Discover Intimacy Coaching: Reclaiming Connection and Pleasure

/ Rebecca Salesky

Intimacy coaching is a specialized type of relationship coaching that focuses on helping emotional and physical intimacy. Intimacy and connection are essential parts of being human. Everyone deserves the chance to experience it fully. Intimacy coaching offers a supportive, judgement-free space to help individuals or couples explore and deepen their capacity for emotions, physical, and even spiritual intimacy. An intimacy coach helps you reconnect with your desires and communicate your needs. If you’re looking to bring back the spark, try something new, or simply understand your needs/desires better, intimacy coaching is the perfect way to go. 

To learn more about what intimacy coaching does, watch this video.

Here are some intimacy coaches that have great reviews and cater towards people with disabilities. 

Joslyn Nerdahl: Certified Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist, Physical Disabilities

Joslyn Nerdahl is an intimacy coach who specialize in working with people with physical disabilities. She believes that communication and consent are the foundation of healthy intimacy. She has a passion for helping people learn how to talk about sex openly and provides a safe space for her clients to explore their needs and desires. Her services include intimacy coaching, sex education, and sexual rehabilitation. Learn more about her: Services – Joslyn Nerdahl

Grace Myhill: Intimacy Coach, Neurodiverse Couples Coaching

Grace Myhill is a couples coach and educator who specializes in working with couples where on or both partners are a person with autism. She focuses on each partner experience and validating each other their perspectives. She wants to help both partners work together to build emotional and relation skills. If you want to know more about her work visits her website: https://www.gracemyhill.com/

Dr. Mitchell Tepper: Sex Coach and Educator for People with Physical Disabilities

Dr. Mitchell Tepper is an educator who specializes in working with individuals with disabilities and chronic conditions to help reclaim pleasure and intimacy. His approach focuses on empowerment, inclusion, and accessibility. He emphasizes that everyone, regardless of physical ability deserves access to intimacy, pleasure, and love. To explore his work and resources visit his website: Coaching – Dr. Mitchell Tepper

Amy Gravino: Autism and Sexuality Advocate, Speaker, and Relationship Coach

While Amy Gravino is not an intimacy coach, she still advocates for autism sexuality. She is an educator who empowers autistic adults to embrace healthy relationships, self-advocacy, and sexual expression. If you want to learn more about her advocacy or watch one of her videos visit: A.S.C.O.T Consulting

I think intimacy coaching is a great way to explore yourself, your relationship, and spice things up.

Why intimacy coaching matters. Enhances communication. Intimacy coaches focus on teaching clients how to express their desires and boundaries. Builds emotion safety. Intimacy coaching fosters vulnerability which ensures both partners feel heard and accepted. Improves sexual health. Intimacy coaching helps to address sexual challenges in the bedroom as well. Whether that is discomfort or low sex drive. Strengthen boundaries. Healthy intimacy requires knowing how to set boundaries with your partner and also respect their hard no’s during sex. Promote self discovery. Intimacy coaches help to guide clients into exploring their desires without shame of judgement. Increase confidence. After coaching, clients will gain greater confidence about themselves and also more confidence in the bedroom.

How to Guide on Flirting Online

/ cammih

Social media can be difficult to navigate as there are unknown “rules” and behaviors that are widely followed when first interacting with others, especially those you are interested in romantically. This aid demonstrates several unspoken guidelines, intimidating behaviors, and tips on staying within the guidelines on social media when trying to flirt. It is worth mentioning that this is not a comprehensive list of all guidelines and intimidating behaviors, but rather a guide to help you talk to your crush online in a fun, respectful way that keeps everyone comfortable. As a 21-year-old who has been online from a young age, some of these guidelines are based on my own experiences and knowledge.

Table of unspoken guidelines, intimidating behaviors, and tips on staying in the guidelines. From top going down, unspoken guidelines: following/friending someone after them meeting in person, following/friending someone on one social media platform, liking a post/story, commenting on recent post/story, leaving relevant comments on posts/stories, sending 1-2 direct messages and waiting for a response before sending another message, the first direct messages are short and include a question, use emojis that match message tone, only commenting/messaging things you can say face-to-face, and ask for consent when posting someone. From top going down, intimidating behaviors: following/friending someone on multiple social media platforms at once, liking past posts and multiple posts in succession, leaving multiple comments and commenting on past posts, sending multiple messages at once and not waiting for a response before sending another message, screenshotting posts and stories, and consistently checking a person's social media for any changes. From top going down, staying in the guidelines: can browse through a person's friends/following, can look at past posts and stories without liking them, can look at a person's tagged photos without liking the post or following the friend, and can tell people who you trust, like friends and family, that you are getting to know someone, but keeping the details of your budding romance off of social media.

Example of a relevant comment: Someone posts a photo of them graduating school and you comment, “Congratulations!”

Example of a direct message: You talked to someone last week about a book series and sent this message: “Hi! It’s [your name], we talked last week about [book series]. I started reading it and really liked it. Do you have any other recommendations?”

Examples of using emojis: (1) You are messaging your crush about a movie that you both recently watched and talking about a scene that left you in disbelief: “I can’t believe that happened 😭 I was not expecting it at all!” (2) You made plans to hang out with your crush in person and sent this message: “I’m excited to hang out on Saturday 😊 See you then!”

Teen Vogue has a list of questions to keep the conversation going with your crush, whether you’re looking for something low-pressure, flirty, deep, random, interesting, or just plain fun.

The Napoleon Cat Blog gives some tips for commenting on someone’s post, showing different examples for different post scenarios. Some of them are intended for friends, but can still be used for your crush’s posts. Their 35 Short Comments for Instagram section is best used when you first start commenting, as they are simple, not intimidating, and friendly.

Guide to Romantic Boundaries

/ Shelby Gordon
Red and white infographic: a how-to-guide for individuals with disabilities to navigate setting, recognizing, and respecting boundaries with their romantic partners.

We have created a how-to-guide for individuals with disabilities to navigate setting, recognizing, and respecting boundaries with their romantic partners.

The setting in which you touch someone matters. Do not touch someone without their consent. It is also important to give people time to open up about certain topics and give people time to put in effort into a relationship.

Recognizing that someone needs to be alone or is uncomfortable can take time to learn. If someone is not showing interest in a conversation, if they are giving short, snappy answers, or if someone is pulling away from gentle touches are all signs that someone may be uncomfortable or want to be left alone.

Respecting one another’s differing opinions is very important. Keep a discussion honest and open, and have mutual agreements on when and were to have certain conversations.

Finally, setting boundaries are important because you want to build trust in a relationship. This post includes an infographic that can support someone’s quest in finding and maintaining romantic relationships and boundaries.

To support teaching these concepts, we have created a presentation and lesson plan that are free to use.

Self-Advocacy in Sexual Health Appointments

/ Helona Barnes

Pelvic exams and sexual health appointments can feel like a lot to handle. A pelvic exam is when a doctor looks at the vulva and vagina. You can calm your nerves by preparing ahead of time. Setting boundaries beforehand also helps. Speaking up for yourself will make you feel safe, heard, and at ease during your visit.

First, what to expect at a sexual health appointment:

  • Routine checkup
  • Discomfort, pain or mild pressure
  • Talking about birth control
  • Pelvic exam
  • Pap smear
  • Reproductive health concerns
    • Infertility
    • Sexual transmitted infections
    • Pregnancy complications

Before your appointment:

  1. Decide if you want emotional support.
    • A close friend, guardian, or family member offers comfort and support.
  2. Bring comfort items.
    • If waiting rooms make you anxious, bring a fidget toy or a stress ball. A small comfort item can help too. These items can help pass time.
  3. Planning Communication
    • Think about how you want to talk to your provider. You can do this by speaking, writing, or using a patient portal. Let your healthcare professional know your preference.
  4. Adjust the environment.
    • Share your lighting preferences. Should it be bright or dim? This will help you feel at ease.
    • If the noise or lights bother you, you can wait in the car until the professionals are ready for you.

During Appointment:

  1. Write down questions.
    • It’s easy to forget questions you had before the professional sees you. Writing or typing them first helps you cover everything you want.
  2. Visuals
    • A body map is a visual tool, a drawing of a persons body. You can show areas of interest on your body by simply pointing. It helps you show where something can hurt or feel different. It also indicates where something needs to be checked by the doctor.
    • If you’re visiting a doctor focused on private parts or sexual health, you can use the body map. For example, it helps show specific areas of concern. Without needing to use a lot of words.
    • Point to or circle areas you want to discuss
    • Use colors or symbols to show pain (ex: red for pain)
    • Write how it feels (sharp, dull, tingly)
    • Check out this Body map template.
  3. Use resources

To prepare for your sexual health appointment, follow these simple steps. It also ensures that all your concerns are covered and helps you feel at ease. Your comfort and well-being are always a number one priority.

Infographic on self-advocacy in sexual health appointments, featuring a doctor, a patient, and medical staff, with sections detailing what to expect during appointments and tips for preparation.

LGBTQIA+ Definitions Plain Language Guide

/ Jordan Heidt

Below is a plain language guide. This resource allows for individuals to easily access and understand LGBTQIA+ identities, and can be used for educational purposes. The definitions were sourced from @IncludedUD on Instagram, as well as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). These two links will take you to the Instagram and to the HRC’s glossary of LGBTQIA+ terms respectively.

***plain text language***

Image text is duplicated below. Pictures show happy queer individuals, couples, and groups with symbolic LGBTQIA+ flags

Below is an screen-reader friendly Plain Language Guide without images.

LGBTQIA+ Plain Language Guide Gay Someone who identifies as a man and is attracted to another person who also identifies as a man. Lesbian Someone who identifies as a woman and is attracted to another person who also identifies as a woman. Bisexual Someone who is attracted to the same gender and another gender. Transgender Someone whose gender identity doesn’t match their assigned sex at birth. Cisgender Someone who identifies as the gender they were assigned sex at birth. Pansexual Someone who is attracted to any gender. Queer An umbrella term for anyone who doesn’t identify as straight and cisgender. Intersex People who are born with a variety of sex traits and reproductive organs. Asexual Someone who identifies as having a complete or partial lack of interest in sexual activity.

Resources for Conversations about Consent

/ Jordan Heidt

What is consent?

According to Planned Parenthood, sexual consent is “an agreement to participate in sexual activity. Consent lets someone know that sex is wanted.”

Sexual activity can be a lot of different types of activities, from kissing to sexual intercourse to oral sex.

Judging consent between partners, as well as self-reflection about consent, is crucial for sexual activity. This article will provide resources for accessing and reflecting on consent, and ensure that consent is an easier conversation.

A very helpful tool to gauge consent is the Verbal Informed Sexual Consent Assessment Tool. This source shares important reflection questions to analyze whether someone can give consent, giving a checklist as well as examples of questions to ask.

For more information about legality and restrictions about consent, refer to our webpages article about the Capacity to Consent to Sexual Activity.

The Conversation of Consent

Consent can be a very simple conversation. Once you know that you and your partner are capable, informed, and confident in making decisions about sexual behaviors, have a conversation with your partner. Ask your partner what their boundaries are, and what sexual behaviors are okay with them. Sexual behaviors are a continuous conversation, that is that the conversation will continue to come up, and the result of the conversation can change. If you or your partner consents to kissing one day, and says “no” to kissing the next day, consent is being taken away and kissing shouldn’t continue to happen until consent is given again. For tools about how to revoke consent, refer to our webpage graphic about Ways to Say No .

This website from Planned Parenthood gives more examples of how to talk with your partner about consent, including examples such as how to check in on consent.

These two videos explain consent and boundaries. The second video also gives an example!

Teaching Consent

/ sarahlcurtiss

Dr. Curtiss was invited to the Center of Disability Studies at the University of Delaware to present on Sexual Consent and Disability. Participants learned what sexual consent is from a sexual health perspective and a legal perspective. They also learned important considerations when teaching consent and how teaching consent promotes sexual safety.

When Dr. Curtiss talks about teaching sexual consent she discussed four main skills: Saying No, Recognizing No, Respecting No, and Saying Yes. To say No, you need to be able to say NO with different levels of intensity, to have multiple strategies for saying NO, a be able to say NO in a variety of contexts including online. To be able to recognize No, you need to be able to recognize verbal, non-vebal, and contextual NO as well as NO by omission. To be able to respect NO you need to have self-regulation skills to manage emotional reaction to hearing NO. To be able to say YES, you need to understand what feel comfortable.

The Bump’n Joystick: An Accessible and Gender Fluid Sex Toy

/ Madison D'Avella

Bump’n is a brand that was created to make sexual pleasure more accessible. All of their content and products are co-created by a team who aims to inspire people to talk more openly about sexuality and disability.

The Bump’n Joystick is a sex toy that does not require you to use your hands! The Joystick has different sized holes in its base for you to insert your favorite toys. You simply hug the top of the toy or lay on it, and it does the work for you!

This toy is currently available for preorder for $249 on the Bump’n website!

Advocates for Youth – Sex Education Lesson Plans

/ Madison D'Avella

Advocates for Youth is an organization that is dedicated to improving sexual and reproductive health among adolescents and securing the rights of young people.

Advocates for Youth recognizes that sex education should equip people with tools to make informed decisions about sex and relationships, instead of withholding information and telling young people not to have sex.

The organization works with AMAZE to publish animated videos that provide children and adolescents with accessible and age-appropriate sexual information. More information about AMAZE can be found here.

Advocates for Youth offers a K-12 sex education curriculum specifically for students with intellectual disabilities that includes all of the topics the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has labeled as essential. The curriculum emphasizes the importance of rights, respect, and responsibility, and covers topics such as gender identity, race, and healthy relationships. This curriculum can be found on the Advocates for Youth website, linked here.

In addition to making efforts to improve sexual education in the classroom, Advocates for Youth hosts virtual and in-person events for people interested in learning more! Some of their previous events involved discussions about STIs, abortion, and consent.

Are Individuals with ASD (and other disabilities) at Increased Risk for Sexual Abuse?

/ sarahlcurtiss

It is difficult to determine the exact risk of sexual abuse for individuals with ASD.  For one thing, reports of sexual abuse in the general population can vary widely.   The first national survey reports victimization rates of 27% for women and 16% of men (Finkelhor et al., 1990)*- and many studies seem to report findings similar to this.  A study has shown that children with disabilities are 1.7 times more likely to experience sexual abuse (Crosse, Kaye & Ratnofsky, 1993)*. In this study all children with disabilities were examined, not just individuals with ASD . Individuals who are caregiver dependent may be at the highest risk as family members, family acquaintances, and paid caregivers are the most likely to commit sexual abuse (Mansell et al., 1996)*. Difficulties communicating, lack of knowledge of sexual norms and activities, and isolation may contribute to increased risk of sexual abuse among individuals with ASD.

So what can you so?  Here are 5 places to start.

  1. Have a clear reporting procedure of any suspected incidences of abuse or neglect and  use it!
  2. Don’t hug, kiss, hold hands, snuggle or in other ways compromise professional boundaries.  Not only does this potentially mask dangerous “grooming” by sexual predators, it also communicates that individuals with disabilities are asexual.
  3. Sexuality education 🙂 may provide opportunities to for individuals to be better able to communicate and better understand social norms and activities thus giving them tools to better understand if abuse may be taking place.
  4. Teach folks to say no!  When we don’t provide structured opportunities for people to say no, then when they need to they don’t know how.
  5. Don’t let sex be a taboo.  If everyone is afraid to talk about it, they will be afraid when there is a problem also.  Also, perpetrators will be deterred by the open communication.

The Department of Human Services in Illinois is targeting ending violence against women with disabilities.  Click here to learn more!

*Link takes you to an abstract of the original article.