Relationships

Guide For Gynecology and Testicular Exams

/ Rebecca Salesky

Testicular and gynecological exams are very important to the health of your reproductive organs. These exams help to play a critical role in early detections of cancer which can help to increase chances of successful treatment. Testicular exams are used to check for lumps, swelling or changes in the testicles and identify other issues like infections or injuries. Gynecological exams are used to examine the uterus, ovaries, and cervix for any abnormalities along with screening for cancers, infections or other health issues. Overall, these exams are an important part of sexual health. Make sure you are going to get one around once a year. Here is a step-by-step guide of what to expect during these exams.

Testicular Exams:

Purpose: The reason you should get one done is to help detect changes in the testicles early on such as lumps, swelling, or anything that is out of the normal that could indicate cancer or other conditions.

Who should be getting one: A person who has biological male reproductive parts. Men should start getting these around age 15 every year with a healthcare provider.

What to expect during this exam: First you will talk to the doctor. They will ask you questions such as family history and if you are sexually active. They will also ask if you have any concerns that you would like to address. After they will give you privacy to undress from the waist down. You are able to keep your shirt on during this. After the doctor will do a visual check of the scrotum and groin area. Lastly, they will feel each testicle using their fingers to check size, shape, tenderness, or if there are any lumps.

Always remember that at any time during this if you feel uncomfortable you can ask the doctor to stop. You are able to ask any questions you make like and have the doctors explain these steps to you as well.

Gynecology exam:

Purpose of these exams: These exams are important for maintaining reproductive health and catching early problems such as cervical or ovarian cancer. Gynecologists can also help you show your options for different birth control methods such as the pill, IUD, the patch and many others. 

Who should be getting one: Anyone with female reproductive organs should see a gynecologist. Most should start getting exams starting at 21 or sooner if you are sexually active. You can also start going younger if you have any concerns or irregular periods.

What to expect during these exams: Starting off the doctors will come in and discuss any general health concerns or questions you might have. They will ask if your menstrual cycle is regular or if you have concerns about this.

  1. External exam: the docotor will look at the outside of your vagina area to check for irritation, swelling, or any other visible concerns.
  2. Pelvic exam: The doctor will gently examine the internal organs (uterus and ovaries) They do this by inserting one or two gloved fingers while genetly pressing on the abdomen to feel for anything out of the normal.
  3. Speculum exam: It is a medical tool that is used to open the vaginal walls so the doctor can see the cervix. This should not be painful. It can be a little uncomfortable or have some pressure. During this the doctors may collect a small sample of cells from the cervis to screen for early signs of cervical cancer. This is called a pap smear and only takes a few seconds. 

Always remember that at any time during this if you feel uncomfortable you can ask the doctor to stop. You are able to ask any questions you make like and have the doctors explain these steps to you as well.

How to set up an appointment:

Find a local gynecologist or place that does testicular exams. look at the reviews to find out if it has good reviews and people like the doctor. One you find a place you like see if it is covered by your health insurance. You can do this by calling your insurance or the office of the doctor. Look at you schedule and see what times work for you. Call the place you choose and tell them you would like to make an appoitment. Most of the time on this call you will need to provide your name, date of birth, health insurance, and what your concerns are. After they say you are all set, you are all good to go!

Common concerns 

  1. They are painful: these exams should not be painful at all. If they are painful make sure you let your doctor know so they can help figure out what is going on.
  2. Only get these exams when you are sexually active: you definitely should get these exams while you are sexually active but you should also get them before if you have any concerns. Also get them if testicular or cervix/ovary cancer runs in your family. 

For more information about these exams click on the links below:

Testicular exam – Mayo Clinic

What Happens During a Gyno Exam, From Start to Finish – ScienceInsights

Overall testicular and gynecological exams are an important part of maintaining overall sexual and reproductive health. These exams help you have a peace of mind in early detection of cancers, infections, and any other concerns you may have. Although this can feel nerve-wracking to do, they are very quick, safe, and not painful. Make sure you talk to your doctor if you feel uncomfortable at any time.

Understanding Pregnancy Emotions

/ cammih

It is very normal to experience a range of emotions when you find out you are pregnant, since it is a major life event that brings about a lot of change. It’s important to remember that every experience is valid and part of the parenthood journey.

Common Reasons for Pregnancy Emotions

Hormones: There are significant hormonal shifts, which can have an intense impact on your emotions. Your estrogen and progesterone hormones fluctuate, which then influences the hormones that regulate your mood (serotonin and dopamine), leading to mood swings and heightened emotions.

Body and body image changes: Your body goes through a lot of physical changes (weight gain, changes in posture, changes in skin, etc.) which can sometimes provoke emotions about body image and self-esteem. Some expectant parents may feel proud that their body’s changing to nurture life, but others may experience feelings of discomfort or insecurity.

Stress: This is a very stressful time for parents, and you may feel stressed about finances, relationship adjustments, childbirth itself, and parenting. Your body heightens its stress response system (your cortisol levels) which can lead to feelings of anxiety, mood swings, and irritability.

Fatigue: Changing hormones, difficulty sleeping, and stress can cause fatigue and exhaustion, which is very common during pregnancy. This can further heighten feelings and make you emotional.

Emotional Changes Throughout Pregnancy

First trimester: Can bring on a lot of early pregnancy emotions and first-trimester mood swings. You may experience a whirlwind of feelings as you come to terms with the reality of being pregnancy, and may feel excited, anxious, and/or overwhelmed.

Second trimester: Experience a welcome break from intense emotions of early pregnancy. You may feel more stable and have more balanced emotions, but you may continue to feel anxious or stressed.

Third trimester: As you’re preparing for childbirth, it can evoke even stronger emotions. You may be fearful of the unknown, but also excited about the arrival of a child. Common feelings include anticipation and excitement, occasional impatience, and anxiety.

Managing Emotional Changes During Pregnancy

It’s important to be able to identify and label what you’re feeling, so that it can be addressed in healthy and effective ways. Be mindful of what you’re experiencing in the present moment. You also should practice self-compassion by acknowledging the work that your body is doing by being pregnant, and accepting these changes.

NewYork-Presbyterian provided some strategies to manage your emotional changes during pregnancy:

Title: Managing Emotional Changes During Pregnancy. On the top-right page, black and white clip art of an ultrasound and a sock. Two boxes on top, two below. Upper-left box: Connect with Others: Reach out to friends and family members! Let them know how you're doing and how they can help. Upper-right box: Take Time for Yourself: Spend some time doing activities that bring you enjoyment; You could read a book, watch a movie, or listen to music. Bottom-left box: Find Ways to Manage Stress: Make time for a stress-relieving activity every day, such as yoga or meditation. Bottom-right box: Write About Your Feelings: It may help to write down your feelings about having a baby or becoming a parent. At the bottom of the page, a clip art image of a person holding an ultrasound of a fetus.

When to Seek Help for Pregnancy Mood Swings

There is no shame in reaching out to a mental health professional when you’re struggling. Symptoms of depression can sometimes resemble pregnancy mood swings, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends to speak to your provider if you have any of these signs for at least two weeks:

  • Depressed mood most of the day, almost every day
  • Loss of interest in work or other activities
  • Persistent feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or worthlessness
  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual
  • Loss of appetite or other concerns around weight
  • Trouble paying attention, concentrating, or making decisions
  • Thoughts about death or suicide


Gender Dysphoria in Adolescents

/ cammih

Gender dysphoria is a sense of unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their sex assigned at birth and gender identity. In adolescence, especially around puberty when young teenagers’ bodies are changing, and they begin exploring their sexual and romantic identities, gender dysphoria typically increases around this time. Included below are some helpful definitions to include in discussions around gender dysphoria, a visual aid tool to discuss how someone may feel if they experience gender dysphoria, and helpful resources from transgender people talking about their gender identity.

Definitions to incorporate while discussing gender dysphoria:

  • Biological sex – label assigned at birth based on physical characteristics (e.g., chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive organs)
  • Primary sex characteristics – changes in the reproductive organs (males: growth of testes, penis, scrotum, and spermarche; females: growth of the uterus and menarche)
  • Secondary sex characteristics – visible physical changes that occur during puberty (males: broader shoulders, a lower voice; females: breast development, hips broaden)
  • Gender Expression – learned roles, behaviors, and actions of women/girls and men/boys (i.e., how society expects certain genders to act and look like)
  • Gender identity – our sense of who we are and how we see and describe ourselves
  • Transgender – people whose gender identity does not match their sex assigned at birth

*For clarification: based on your biological sex (what physical characteristics you are born with), society assigns you a gender (how you should act, what you should be interested, and your role in the world)*

Title: Gender Dysphoria. A single text box titled "What is it?" with the definition below: gender dysphoria is a sense of unease a person may feel when their gender identity does not match their biological sex. A single-column table titled "How you may feel:" In descending order: your gender identity conflicts with your biological sex, you are comfortable only when in the gender role of your preferred gender identity, a strong desire to hide or be rid of physical signs of your biological sex (e.g., breasts or facial hair), discomfort with your body or anatomy, and/or a preference for gendered clothing.

Helpful Resources:

Teen Vogue has an article discussing what it’s like to be transgender and living with gender dysphoria.

The Guardian also has an article where people who identify as transgender discuss their experience with exploring their gender identity. Although gender dysphoria is not the main focus, it is thoroughly discussed in the experiences of the transgender people featured.

This article from BuzzFeed includes people with disabilities exploring their gender identity and how it intersects with their disability. Gender dysphoria is mentioned, but the article mainly focuses on how society has created barriers for transgender people with disabilities. It would still be beneficial to use, as it brings attention to an often overlooked area of the disability and transgender community.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

/ Tayah Burnett
This photo contains a checklist that breaks down unhealthy vs. healthy relationships. In unhealthy or coercive relationships, a person may feel pressured to say yes to sex, they can be insulted or threatened, and kept away from people or belongings. In a healthy relationship, people feel safe and comfortable, respects when someone says no, agree before having sex, and have control over your own body. Two people are sitting at a table holding mugs in one corner while two other people are hugging and holding a heart to their chest.

Boundaries

To ensure that individuals do not experience types of coercion mentioned above, it is important that healthy boundaries are developed. Without healthy boundaries, relationships can become toxic and unsatisfying, and the individual’s well-being can suffer. Healthy boundaries are meant to [1]:

  • Encourage autonomy and reduce codependent habits
  • Set expectations when interacting with others
  • Give you a sense of empowerment and self-respect
  • Ensure your physical and emotional comfort
  • Clarity on individual responsibilities in a relationship
  • Clarify individual responsibilities in a relationship
  • Separate your wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings from those of others

Before getting into a relationship, it is imperative to develop personal boundaries and ensure that those boundaries are respected.

Orange box with danger tape running an "x" shape across it. The text describes the different types of boundaries: physical boundaries, financial boundaries, emotional boundaries, and sexual boundaries. Physical boundaries can be defined as those that keep you comfortable and safe. Financial boundaries are those that extend to your belongings. Emotional boundaries ensure that others are respectful of your well-being and internal comfort. Sexual boundaries require asking for consent before being physically intimate.

Sexual Readiness

An important thing to consider when discussing relationships is sexual readiness. Sexual readiness means thinking carefully about whether you are truly ready to engage in sexual activity with a partner [2].

Pink infographic with a list of questions to ask how ready someone is to have sex: Why do you want to have sex? Do you feel safe and comfortable with your partner(s)? Are you comfortable with the time and place? Do you know your wants and desires? Have you discussed boundaries? Are you prepared for safe sex? Do you have hesitation or unanswered questions? Do you both feel aligned?

Coercion

In some relationships, individuals use a tactic called ‘coercion’ to ensure their partner does not leave the relationship. According to Webster’s dictionary, coercion is “to compel an act or choice” [3]. Regarding relationships, coercive control is seen through emotional abuse in intimate partner settings and may sometimes include physical force [4]. Types of coercive control include:

  • Assault – Assault is one of the most extreme versions of coercive control, as it involves physically forcing an individual to conduct an action. Assault includes hitting, choking, slapping, kicking, biting, using weapons, and exposure to dangerous situations.
  • Threats – Threats are declarations of impending consequences intended to create fear. Example statements include, ‘That better not stay that way, or you’ll regret it’, ‘The next time you do that, the dog is going to the shelter’, and ‘You’re going to be sorry you did that’.
  • Insults or Humiliation – When a partner insults or humiliates an individual, it can be done with the intention to break down the individual’s self-esteem and make them believe they cannot function without the partner. Some examples include making jokes at your expense, calling you names, and regularly making critical comments about your appearance.
  • Isolation – When a partner forbids an individual from interacting with others, it can inhibit the individual from being able to verify abusive relationship behaviors. Examples include making excuses why you can’t attend family events or social functions, using guilt to get you to stay at home, and making fun of your interests to discourage you.
  • Activity Monitoring – Activity monitoring is a tactic utilized to subtly remind an individual that their partner is always around, judging their behaviors. Examples include whole-home surveillance technology (including private areas like the bathroom), checking your internet usage and browser history, and using tracking technology on your phone or car.
  • Financial Control – When a partner scrutinizes, controls, or limits financial control, a situation is developed where an individual depends on that partner for basic needs. Examples include being restricted to an allowance, insisting on sharing financial account information, and running up debt under your name.
  • Sexual Coercion – When a partner makes an individual feel pressured, manipulated, or tricked into sexual interaction. For example, making you feel obligated to engage in sex, offering a reward for sex, or threatening consequences if you don’t engage in a sexual act.
  • Removing Autonomy – When someone takes away the freedom of personal choice. It is a form utilized to dismiss an individual’s feelings and make them feel inferior. Examples include insisting you use certain products (shampoo, body spray, soap, hygiene items), replacing your things with versions they feel are superior, regulating your sleep, eating, or bathroom activities.

Conclusion

No matter your attachment style, it’s important to regulate your emotions, take time to think before agreeing or initiating sex, and remember sex does not equal love or commitment [6]. If someone is pressuring you into sex, and you feel safe, be direct and firm with the individual [7]. Let the individual know that pressure will not change your mind or that you are not interested. If the pursuit continues, call individuals that you trust (family, friends, police). Some individuals to help you create an exit strategy from a coercive relationship include 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org, and texting “START” to 88788.

Beyond The Myths: Inclusive Sex Education and Mental Health Awareness

/ Rebecca Salesky

Exploring your sexuality can be confusing, especially when you start engaging in sexual acts with other people for the first time. Virginity is the term used to describe the state of never having had sex, and “losing your virginity” can be nerve-wracking. Even the word “losing” is not the best description, because you should be gaining something from your experience instead. There are many misconceptions around sex that can contribute to feeling anxious about having sex for the first time. This is a guide that debunks myths and discusses the many ways you can have sex to help you feel a little more comfortable when engaging in sexual acts, and the importance of your mental wellbeing when it comes to this.

Sex Myths

Myth Reality 
You will feel different after having sex.People often believe after having sex for the first time it will instantly change everything and bring a complete happiness in your life. The truth is there is no “right” way to feel after having it. You can feel happy, anxious, calm, excited, nervous, or even the same. All of these reactions are completely normal. 
Pain is always present.First time sex can feel uncomfortable at first. The vagina is muscle so when it is being strecthed it comes along with discomfort. But with communication, patience, and enough foreplay with your partner the discomfort will last for only a little bit. If the pain is severe or ongoing it is a good idea to talk to a healthcare professional because sex is not supposed to hurt. 
It will be perfect and magical. Watching television they depict first time sex as something magical and smooth. In reality that is not always the case. First time sex can be awkward and nervewracking and that is okay! Learning and figuring things out with your partner is completely normal. It does not have to be perfect for it to be meaningful.  
Talking about boundaries will ruin the mood.This is absolutely not true. If there is something you do not feel comfortable with when about to have sex with your partner, make sure you say it. You saying it will not ruin the mood whatsoever. It will just make sure that you are being treated with respect and that you are not uncomfortable during the experience. When both partners feel safe and heard, it will create a more positive experience. 
Penetration is required. This is a myth because that statement limits the definition of sex to only penis-in-vagina orientation. Intimacy includes many forms such as oral sex, touching, mutual stimulation, and many other experiences. 

Diving Deeper into Inclusive Sex

As mentioned above, “penetration is required” for sex is a myth because of the many ways to be sexual, and based on your pain or mobility restrictions, sensory sensitivities, gender identity, and sexual orientation, sex may be different than how you imagined it. There is no one or “real” way to have sex; it is whatever you and your partner are comfortable with, so it’s important to talk to your partner about boundaries and what sex you would like to have.

There are many different ways people have sex:

  • Anal sex – a penis is inserted into another person’s anus
  • Oral sex – a person licks a person’s vulva, vagina, or clitoris or a person kisses/sucks a person’s penis
  • A person kisses and sucks the other person’s nipples
  • A person masturbates with another person
  • A person touches another person’s vagina or penis
  • Sex toys (ex: dildos…) are used

This fact sheet provides more information on having sex.

Being comfortable in your sexuality and expressing yourself sexually can help you understand yourself better and be in control of your own life. It can also give you confidence to have sex successfully (based on your own personal view of what “successful” sex is) and deepen your connection with your partners.

Resources To Promote Positive Mental Health

For LGBTQ+ individuals with disabilities, the LGBTQ+ community and spaces can act as a protective factor as it helps foster a sense of belonging, reduce isolation, and supports positive self-identity. However, LGTBQ+ people with disabilities also report higher rates of mental health concerns. The Trevor Project has a guide on their website for supporting LGBTQ+ people with disabilities, including direct links to resources that can be found on page 14 on the PDF format.

We wanted to attach some resources if you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns. The Cleveland Clinic provides more information about suicide and its warning signs on its website at https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/suicide.

The Never a Bother campaign is a youth suicide prevention awareness and outreach campaign for young people and their parents, caregivers, and allies. To get involved, please visit https://neverabother.org/

Discover Intimacy Coaching: Reclaiming Connection and Pleasure

/ Rebecca Salesky

Intimacy coaching is a specialized type of relationship coaching that focuses on helping emotional and physical intimacy. Intimacy and connection are essential parts of being human. Everyone deserves the chance to experience it fully. Intimacy coaching offers a supportive, judgement-free space to help individuals or couples explore and deepen their capacity for emotions, physical, and even spiritual intimacy. An intimacy coach helps you reconnect with your desires and communicate your needs. If you’re looking to bring back the spark, try something new, or simply understand your needs/desires better, intimacy coaching is the perfect way to go. 

To learn more about what intimacy coaching does, watch this video.

Here are some intimacy coaches that have great reviews and cater towards people with disabilities. 

Joslyn Nerdahl: Certified Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist, Physical Disabilities

Joslyn Nerdahl is an intimacy coach who specialize in working with people with physical disabilities. She believes that communication and consent are the foundation of healthy intimacy. She has a passion for helping people learn how to talk about sex openly and provides a safe space for her clients to explore their needs and desires. Her services include intimacy coaching, sex education, and sexual rehabilitation. Learn more about her: Services – Joslyn Nerdahl

Grace Myhill: Intimacy Coach, Neurodiverse Couples Coaching

Grace Myhill is a couples coach and educator who specializes in working with couples where on or both partners are a person with autism. She focuses on each partner experience and validating each other their perspectives. She wants to help both partners work together to build emotional and relation skills. If you want to know more about her work visits her website: https://www.gracemyhill.com/

Dr. Mitchell Tepper: Sex Coach and Educator for People with Physical Disabilities

Dr. Mitchell Tepper is an educator who specializes in working with individuals with disabilities and chronic conditions to help reclaim pleasure and intimacy. His approach focuses on empowerment, inclusion, and accessibility. He emphasizes that everyone, regardless of physical ability deserves access to intimacy, pleasure, and love. To explore his work and resources visit his website: Coaching – Dr. Mitchell Tepper

Amy Gravino: Autism and Sexuality Advocate, Speaker, and Relationship Coach

While Amy Gravino is not an intimacy coach, she still advocates for autism sexuality. She is an educator who empowers autistic adults to embrace healthy relationships, self-advocacy, and sexual expression. If you want to learn more about her advocacy or watch one of her videos visit: A.S.C.O.T Consulting

I think intimacy coaching is a great way to explore yourself, your relationship, and spice things up.

Why intimacy coaching matters. Enhances communication. Intimacy coaches focus on teaching clients how to express their desires and boundaries. Builds emotion safety. Intimacy coaching fosters vulnerability which ensures both partners feel heard and accepted. Improves sexual health. Intimacy coaching helps to address sexual challenges in the bedroom as well. Whether that is discomfort or low sex drive. Strengthen boundaries. Healthy intimacy requires knowing how to set boundaries with your partner and also respect their hard no’s during sex. Promote self discovery. Intimacy coaches help to guide clients into exploring their desires without shame of judgement. Increase confidence. After coaching, clients will gain greater confidence about themselves and also more confidence in the bedroom.

How to Guide on Flirting Online

/ cammih

Social media can be difficult to navigate as there are unknown “rules” and behaviors that are widely followed when first interacting with others, especially those you are interested in romantically. This aid demonstrates several unspoken guidelines, intimidating behaviors, and tips on staying within the guidelines on social media when trying to flirt. It is worth mentioning that this is not a comprehensive list of all guidelines and intimidating behaviors, but rather a guide to help you talk to your crush online in a fun, respectful way that keeps everyone comfortable. As a 21-year-old who has been online from a young age, some of these guidelines are based on my own experiences and knowledge.

Table of unspoken guidelines, intimidating behaviors, and tips on staying in the guidelines. From top going down, unspoken guidelines: following/friending someone after them meeting in person, following/friending someone on one social media platform, liking a post/story, commenting on recent post/story, leaving relevant comments on posts/stories, sending 1-2 direct messages and waiting for a response before sending another message, the first direct messages are short and include a question, use emojis that match message tone, only commenting/messaging things you can say face-to-face, and ask for consent when posting someone. From top going down, intimidating behaviors: following/friending someone on multiple social media platforms at once, liking past posts and multiple posts in succession, leaving multiple comments and commenting on past posts, sending multiple messages at once and not waiting for a response before sending another message, screenshotting posts and stories, and consistently checking a person's social media for any changes. From top going down, staying in the guidelines: can browse through a person's friends/following, can look at past posts and stories without liking them, can look at a person's tagged photos without liking the post or following the friend, and can tell people who you trust, like friends and family, that you are getting to know someone, but keeping the details of your budding romance off of social media.

Example of a relevant comment: Someone posts a photo of them graduating school and you comment, “Congratulations!”

Example of a direct message: You talked to someone last week about a book series and sent this message: “Hi! It’s [your name], we talked last week about [book series]. I started reading it and really liked it. Do you have any other recommendations?”

Examples of using emojis: (1) You are messaging your crush about a movie that you both recently watched and talking about a scene that left you in disbelief: “I can’t believe that happened 😭 I was not expecting it at all!” (2) You made plans to hang out with your crush in person and sent this message: “I’m excited to hang out on Saturday 😊 See you then!”

Teen Vogue has a list of questions to keep the conversation going with your crush, whether you’re looking for something low-pressure, flirty, deep, random, interesting, or just plain fun.

The Napoleon Cat Blog gives some tips for commenting on someone’s post, showing different examples for different post scenarios. Some of them are intended for friends, but can still be used for your crush’s posts. Their 35 Short Comments for Instagram section is best used when you first start commenting, as they are simple, not intimidating, and friendly.

Guide to Romantic Boundaries

/ Shelby Gordon
Red and white infographic: a how-to-guide for individuals with disabilities to navigate setting, recognizing, and respecting boundaries with their romantic partners.

We have created a how-to-guide for individuals with disabilities to navigate setting, recognizing, and respecting boundaries with their romantic partners.

The setting in which you touch someone matters. Do not touch someone without their consent. It is also important to give people time to open up about certain topics and give people time to put in effort into a relationship.

Recognizing that someone needs to be alone or is uncomfortable can take time to learn. If someone is not showing interest in a conversation, if they are giving short, snappy answers, or if someone is pulling away from gentle touches are all signs that someone may be uncomfortable or want to be left alone.

Respecting one another’s differing opinions is very important. Keep a discussion honest and open, and have mutual agreements on when and were to have certain conversations.

Finally, setting boundaries are important because you want to build trust in a relationship. This post includes an infographic that can support someone’s quest in finding and maintaining romantic relationships and boundaries.

To support teaching these concepts, we have created a presentation and lesson plan that are free to use.

How to Handle Rejection: Tips, Resources, and Lesson Plans

/ Helona Barnes

Listed below are a slideshow, worksheet, and plain-language guide designed to help people understand and cope with rejection. These resources explain what rejection can look like and explore how people react when they feel rejected. You’ll also find ways to cope and work through those feelings in healthy ways.

Resources:

Part 1: Slideshow Rejection 101

Part 2: Rejection worksheet

Part 3: Plain Text Rejection Guide (No formatting)

Supporting Resource: 10 tips for dealing with romantic rejection

Rejection is a normal part of life, and it’s something everyone goes through. You don’t have to run away from it, you can face it and grow stronger from it.

Resources for Conversations about Consent

/ Jordan Heidt

What is consent?

According to Planned Parenthood, sexual consent is “an agreement to participate in sexual activity. Consent lets someone know that sex is wanted.”

Sexual activity can be a lot of different types of activities, from kissing to sexual intercourse to oral sex.

Judging consent between partners, as well as self-reflection about consent, is crucial for sexual activity. This article will provide resources for accessing and reflecting on consent, and ensure that consent is an easier conversation.

A very helpful tool to gauge consent is the Verbal Informed Sexual Consent Assessment Tool. This source shares important reflection questions to analyze whether someone can give consent, giving a checklist as well as examples of questions to ask.

For more information about legality and restrictions about consent, refer to our webpages article about the Capacity to Consent to Sexual Activity.

The Conversation of Consent

Consent can be a very simple conversation. Once you know that you and your partner are capable, informed, and confident in making decisions about sexual behaviors, have a conversation with your partner. Ask your partner what their boundaries are, and what sexual behaviors are okay with them. Sexual behaviors are a continuous conversation, that is that the conversation will continue to come up, and the result of the conversation can change. If you or your partner consents to kissing one day, and says “no” to kissing the next day, consent is being taken away and kissing shouldn’t continue to happen until consent is given again. For tools about how to revoke consent, refer to our webpage graphic about Ways to Say No .

This website from Planned Parenthood gives more examples of how to talk with your partner about consent, including examples such as how to check in on consent.

These two videos explain consent and boundaries. The second video also gives an example!

ASL Sex Education Resources from Planned Parenthood

/ Jordan Heidt

Last year, Planned Parenthood released a series of 4 videos that cover 4 different topics: consent, body image, identity, and birth control/sexually transmitted infections. These videos are linked below, and are available for free on Youtube. The group of friends in each video communicate in American Sign Language, and closed captioning is available in Spanish and English.

This first video is about consent. Ciara and Dev are getting into a relationship, and Ciara discusses with her friends how to set boundaries without feeling “mean”, by being honest, clear, and kind.

This second video is about birth control and sexually transmitted infections. One of the friends, Ciara, tells Ava that she is ready to have sex with Dev, and Ava and Ciara discuss the steps to follow before having sex. First, they discuss STI testing before having intercourse, and then acquiring birth control. Dev, Em, and Bo also talk about condom use, and Em explains that when at the doctor, they are legally required to provide an interpreter for those that are Deaf or hard of hearing.

This third video discusses identity; sexual orientation, gender identity, and Deaf identity. There is a conversation about pronouns as well as owning a Deaf identity between a group of high-school-aged friends.

This final video discusses body image. Two of the high-school-aged friends in the group struggle with their body image, one of which is also struggling with what to wear to a pool party as a transgender person.

Woodbine House

/ Sarah Durante

While the mainstream is becoming increasingly aware and accepting of disabilities, there is still a lack of representation. People with both physical and intellectual disabilities rarely ever see people like them in books, movies, on TV, or in many other forms of entertainment. On top of this, resources regarding sexual health, relationships, and puberty for disabled individuals practically don’t exist.

Woodbine House is a publishing company that specializes in informational books for individuals with intellectual disabilities. They have many books aimed at all different age groups that provide information on an array of topics pertaining to disabilities. On their website, they have different sections for Down Syndrome, Autism, and ADHD/ADD. Some of their sexual health based books include: Teaching Children With Down Syndrome About Their Bodies, Boundaries and Sexuality, Boyfriends & Girlfriends: A Guide to Dating for People with Disabilities, and A Boys/Girls Guide to Growing Up. These books help teach people to identify body parts, how to identify/express emotions, personal hygiene, dealing with puberty, relationship safety and many other things.

Every one of their books features people with the disability they’re discussing, and they provide accurate and accessible books for all ages. These books are non-clinical and easy to read, and they are intended for everyday use. On top of this, they’re extremely accessible and informational. This company consistently provides parents and children with informational books that are practical, empathetic and empowering, and they push disabled issues into the public eye. It is a great example of increasing representation and inclusivity in media!

The website is linked below:

https://www.woodbinehouse.com/

Sex Ed Rescue

/ Sarah Durante

Properly educating children on sex, puberty, and many other related topics can be challenging for parents. Many parents struggle with how they should speak to their child about these topics, and when the time is right. Sex Ed Rescue is a YouTube channel designed to educate parents on how to talk to their kids about these topics. This channel includes instructional videos, Q&A’s, children’s book reviews, and many other educational resources. It is a great resource to help parents educate their children on sex. It also helps to create a more age-appropriate environment for the child, and encourages comfortable communication between the child and the parent.

Linked below is the channel’s introduction video and the channel’s homepage.

Sex Ed Rescue: Homepage

Wait, What: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up

/ Kaitlyn Myers

The recently released comic book, “Wait, What: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up” by Heather Corinna and Isabelle Rotman gives insight to a sexuality, gender, and related issues in an inclusive and fun format. From the publishers:

“Join friends Malia, Rico, Max, Sam and Alexis as they talk about all the weird and exciting parts of growing up! This supportive group of friends are guides for some tricky subjects. Using comics, activities and examples, they give encouragement and context for new and confusing feelings and experiences.

Inclusive of different kinds of genders, sexualities, and other identities, they talk about important topics like:

– Bodies, including puberty, body parts and body image
– Sexual and gender identity
– Gender roles and stereotypes
– Crushes, relationships, and sexual feelings
– Boundaries and consent
– The media and cultural messages, specifically around bodies and sex
– How to be sensitive, kind, accepting, and mature
– Where to look for more information, support and help

A fun and easy-to-read guide from expert sex educators that gives readers a good basis and an age-appropriate start with sex, bodies and relationships education! The perfect complement to any school curriculum.”

Healthy Realationships and Autism

/ sarahlcurtiss

healthy relationships and autismA new curriculum called “Healthy Relationships and Autism” is now available from Wesley Spectrum (a behavioral health organization with several locations in the Pittsburgh, PA area). It was designed to teach skills to adolescents and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder or cognitive challenges in the areas of self care, sexuality, and relationship development.  Their website has an example lesson to help you determine if it would be right for your students.  They do not publish their pricing information (you have to email them for more information but they will send you a sample packet).

I have not used this curriculum but there is some evidence of it’s effectiveness.  A study published in School and Educational Psychology evaluated this program with six students.  These students showed increases in sexual knowledge which they retained one month after completing the class.