What is consent?

According to Planned Parenthood, sexual consent is “an agreement to participate in sexual activity. Consent lets someone know that sex is wanted.”

Sexual activity can be a lot of different types of activities, from kissing to sexual intercourse to oral sex.

Judging consent between partners, as well as self-reflection about consent, is crucial for sexual activity. This article will provide resources for accessing and reflecting on consent, and ensure that consent is an easier conversation.

A very helpful tool to gauge consent is the Verbal Informed Sexual Consent Assessment Tool. This source shares important reflection questions to analyze whether someone can give consent, giving a checklist as well as examples of questions to ask.

For more information about legality and restrictions about consent, refer to our webpages article about the Capacity to Consent to Sexual Activity.

The Conversation of Consent

Consent can be a very simple conversation. Once you know that you and your partner are capable, informed, and confident in making decisions about sexual behaviors, have a conversation with your partner. Ask your partner what their boundaries are, and what sexual behaviors are okay with them. Sexual behaviors are a continuous conversation, that is that the conversation will continue to come up, and the result of the conversation can change. If you or your partner consents to kissing one day, and says “no” to kissing the next day, consent is being taken away and kissing shouldn’t continue to happen until consent is given again. For tools about how to revoke consent, refer to our webpage graphic about Ways to Say No .

This website from Planned Parenthood gives more examples of how to talk with your partner about consent, including examples such as how to check in on consent.

These two videos explain consent and boundaries. The second video also gives an example!