Sexual Safety

Resources for creating safer environments both by teaching self protection skills and by addressing sexually problematic behavior.

High School Human Sexuality 101 Week 6- Power in Relationships

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Power in Relationships The focus of week 6 was to better understand power relationships. During this week, the participants worked together on a activity that helped them to learn about power and control in relationships and specifically the benefits of having more power, benefits of having less power, drawbacks to having more power, and the drawbacks to having less power. The main concept that we were teaching with this activity is that there should be a balance when it comes to power. We first brainstormed  ideas on what it meant to have power in a relationship. After that, the participants discussed how different situations could be red flags that a relationship is not safe and we had them place those on the outside of the circle. We superimposed a circle onto our original brainstorming to reinforce this concept (using the powerpoint project and a dry erase board).

At the end of group we played a “Would you Rather” game to help them tune into how much power and control they prefer to have in relationships.  Students are asked about different relationships where there is a power difference (eg. parent-child). If they would prefer the more powerful option they take a step forward, the less and they stand still.  In my experience, individuals with disabilities are much more likely to choose a majority of less powerful positions in relationships. Food for thought.

For more information and activities on this topic see Adult Human Sexuality Week 5- Power Relationships

This Week’s Materials

Week 6 Slides

Parent Letter Week 6

Privacy Activity

/ Veronica

Teaching and learning about privacy can be difficult and confusing. This activity uses a continuum of privacy  (using private, semi-private, and public) to help differentiate privacy levels. There are two topics: body parts and places. You can use this activity to explain different privacy levels and explain contextual differences (i.e. a stomach can be a public body part at the beach, but a private body part at school) . Download the privacy activity places and body parts here!

privacy pocketsprivacy continuum

Privacy Social Stories and Notes on Language

/ sarahlcurtiss

living well with autismI wanted to put you in touch with a website called “Living Well with Autism“.  They have several Board Maker Social Stories related to privacy.

Privacy Social StoryWhile I think overall this site has some nice ideas, I’d be careful about using “Good Touch Bad Touch”.  Good/Bad may bring up feelings of guilt, could be over generalized, and might be confusing as an assault often starts with touches that feel good then moves to touches that feel bad.  Also, there are some studies that have shown that children understand the word touch differently than adults.  For example they wouldn’t categorize people kissing as touching, because well, they’re kissing.  I think this could be a problem for someone with an intellectual disability that doesn’t categorize well.  I like the terms safe and unsafe touch.  I also like saying touching makes you feel something.  If a touch feels good, it’s probably safe.  If a touch doesn’t feel good it’s probably not safe.  Then you can teach specific kinds of touches.  Having said that, the site gives you some good Social Stories to start with.  Pictured left is part of one of their  stories.

Just another note on language.  There is a movement among abuse prevention advocates to alter some our terminology when talking about sexual abuse prevention.   I mention in my workshop that we have to be careful when talking about using education to help prevent sexual abuse because it implies that the individual is responsible for reducing his or her own risk.  Alternative terminology includes personal safety skills, abuse-response skills, or self-protection skills.

Communicating About Sexuality Adaptively

/ sarahlcurtiss

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It can be a little overwhelming to start thinking about communicating pictorially about human sexuality topics, but there are some supports available.

Many of you already use Board Maker (computer software that helps make visual supports and PECS).  They have a “Communicating About Sexuality” add on that is very useful and only costs $15.00 (but you have to already have Board Maker).

If you would like some guidelines on how to approach augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) in regards to sexuality Speak Up has resources that you may find useful.  Speak Up is a group dedicated to preventing sexual abuse/victimization among people who use alternative communication.  They have guidelines, suggestions for communication displays, and information about building sexual vocabulary.  This group surveyed individuals who use AAC and found that ACC users say they need:

  • People who recognize that they are sexual
  • Information about sexuality
  • Vocabulary to communicate about sexuality
  • People to communicate with about sexuality
  • Accessible resources and services

Sounds pretty darn reasonable to me.

 

Sexual Abuse Self Protection Resources

/ sarahlcurtiss

Shirley Paceley is based out of Blue Tower Training in Decatur, Illinois.  She has been working with individuals with developmental disabilities for over 30 years and has specific expertise in abuse prevention and intervention.  She is available to do trainings and consultations.

Check out this online store for books and resources developed by Shirley and others for teaching about sexuality and sexual abuse prevention.

Social Signals- Curriculum

/ sarahlcurtiss

Social Signals ($159.oo) is a series of  videos and curriculum are designed to teach adolescent students with autism and intellectual disability about safe relationship skills.  There is also a parent curriculum for $23.99.  They have a sample video and lesson available for free so you can preview before you purchase.  I liked the video.  I like to teach about expected and unexpected behaviors and I think these videos could be a good tool.  There are also sample lessons that accompany the videos.

Living Safer Sexual Lives- Training Pack

/ sarahlcurtiss

Living Safer Sexual Lives is a training pack available for purchase ($57.23) for those of you who may be doing training on human sexuality and disabilities.  I have not personally used their materials, but it was developed in a very interesting way and it’s not very expensive so I thought I’d pass it along.  A research group in Australia interviewed several people with intellectual disability about their sexual lives and then used their stories to develop this training.  The training is targeted toward parents, professionals, and self advocates.  The training pack has three parts: introduction, training, and resources (including a DVD of people with intellectual disability telling their stories).

You can read the full report which outlines the findings from the interviews and how they used the interviews to shape the training.  The report also includes accounts from people with disabilities about their sexuality.

The key themes that emerged from the stories were:

  • Diversity and similarity. Diversity within the lives of the story-tellers and similarities between needs and desires of this group and other adults.
  • The issues of rights and sexuality.
  • The hidden nature of people’s sexual lives.
  • Celebration of sexuality and relationships.
  • Gender issues.
  • Loneliness and rejection.

New Laws Regarding Guardianship and Access Sexual Violence Services

/ sarahlcurtiss / 1 Comment

Thank you to Kelli at the Developmental Services Center for sending out this information!  Over the past three years, three laws have been passed that improve public policy with the goal of increasing access to services for women with disabilities who experience sexual violence:

P.A. 96-318, eff. Jan. 1, 2010-  Consent of a guardian, health care surrogate or health care power of attorney is not required in order for a victim with a disability to receive health care or release forensic evidence following a sexual assault.

If a victim with a disability is unable to consent to the release of evidence, and the victim’s guardian, health care surrogate or health care power of attorney is unavailable or unwilling to release the information, an investigating law enforcement officer may release the evidence.

P.A. 96-1010, eff. Jan 1, 2011- An adult with a guardian can:

  •  decide whether his or her guardian can look at her/his rape crisis center records; and
  •  decide whether or not to waive the rape crisis center privilege.

P.A. 97-165, eff. Jan. 1, 2012-   An adult with a guardian can attend up to five, forty-five minute counseling sessions without the consent of, or notice to, the guardian unless the counselor or therapist believes such disclosure is necessary.

Click the link below to download fact sheets created for advocates and self-advocates

Public Policy Committee Fact Sheets 6.12.12

These fact sheets are a product of the Illinois Imagines Project, a collaborative among the Illinois Department of Human Services, the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, and self-advocates for people with disabilities.

Thank you to these groups who not only created these facts sheets but also advocated for these protections!

Relationship Pyramid

/ sarahlcurtiss

Here is an example of a five point scale that was developed by April Keaton, LCSW, to explain the different levels of relationships.  The pyramid shape was used to convey that you might have a lot of “friendly acquaintances” but much fewer “long term relationships”.  It was important for this person to connect the level of the relationship with the level of intimacy so you see examples of intimate behaviors at each level of the pyramid.  There’s also an element of time built into the descriptions.     You wouldn’t have to start with pyramid filled out.  You could start with a blank pyramid and support an individual with filling in the levels.  You could add names of individuals at each level.  You can download the pdf of this image by clicking here.

The Circles of Sexuality

/ sarahlcurtiss / 1 Comment

No, these aren’t the circles we usually talk about related to levels of intimacy and based on the Circles curriculum.  These circles developed by Dr. Dennis Dailey, focus on Sensuality, Sexualization, Intimacy, Sexual Identity, and Sexual Health.  I think these might make a good framework for a 5 module course or could be used to introduce the concept of sexuality.  Click here for a full explanation of The Circles of Sexuality. 

Are Individuals with ASD at an Increased Risk of Sexual Abuse?

/ sarahlcurtiss

It is difficult to determine the exact risk of sexual abuse for individuals with ASD (it’s hard to get a good report of sexual abuse among the general population).  The first national survey reports victimization rates of 27% for women and 16% of men among the general population (Finkelhor et al., 1990). A study has shown that children with disabilities are 1.7 times more likely to experience sexual abuse however all children with disabilities were examined, not just individuals with ASD (Crosse, Kaye & Ratnofsky, 1993). Individuals who are caregiver dependent may be at the highest risk because family members, family acquaintances, and paid caregivers are the most likely to commit sexual abuse (Mansell et al., 1996). Difficulties communicating, lack of knowledge of sexual norms and activities, and isolation may contribute to increased risk of sexual abuse among individuals with ASD. Sexuality education may provide opportunities to for individuals to be better able to communicate and better understand social norms and activities. Furthermore if the support systems of individuals with ASD are in openly talking about sexuality it may create a climate where this abuse is less likely to happen.  The Department of Human Services in Illinois has started a project to end sexual violence against women with disabilities.  I’ve gotten to meet several people working on the project and they are very knowledgeable and dedicated.  I hope they succeed!

Teaching About Joking

/ sarahlcurtiss

Here is an activity you may want to try out for teaching about joking in context.  Joking is really difficult because it’s very nuanced.  It can be a great way to connect with people but also hurtful.  I also think it is difficult because of the educational context- jokes that aren’t appropriate at school, work, etc. It might be okay in some places but it feels weird saying- “yeah, it’s okay to tell fart jokes with your friends.”  It really easy to cross over from actual social skills to formal social skills.  

10 Easy Things You Can Do that Promote Privacy and Positive Relationships

/ sarahlcurtiss

Although this list can be used with any population, it is geared towards individuals who need a considerable amount of support. Many of these are probably things you already do!

1.  Prompt clients/consumers/students to greet one another.

I’m always surprised to realize that some people don’t know the names of the other people they spend time with each day.  A simple greeting is a wonderful, simple, social script that you have natural opportunities to practice each day.

2.  Ask permission or notify an individual before touching their person or their wheel chair.

This reinforces that an individual has control and autonomy over his or her own body.  It’s important for people to feel in control of their body so that they feel safe and also so they can keep others’ safe.  It also communicates that a person’s body is something that needs to be treated with respect.

3.  Keep all aspects of a personal care (toileting) routine private.

This means that you don’t follow behind someone with a Depends (or other personal care item)- use a bag.  It also means you don’t announce taking someone to the restroom to the group (say it quietly so only the person you are speaking to can hear).

4.  Do not speak negatively about clients/consumers/students in front of others – including saying they are having  behaviors.

People are very perceptive about when others are speaking negatively about them. When you say so and so is having behaviors it makes the situation very public, embarrasses the individual, and gives positive reinforcement (in the form of attention) to the behavior.  If for your safety you need to communicate this, use a code (In Champaign we would say “did you see the Illini’s defense last night?” which meant we are having a potentially dangerous behavior situation please hang out until all clear).

5.  Do not affectionately kiss, cuddle, or pat on the head clients/consumers/students.

In someways this is a no brainer and in other ways it is hard.  I know so many people who are touch deprived and it seems harmless to give someone a hug when you see them but these types of affection have several negative side effects.  1) They send an inappropriate message of how to interact in non-sheltered situations (you can’t hug people you meet on the bus).  2) They communicate that the individual is child-like and a-sexual.  3) They can create a climate where it is difficult to detect sexual predators.

6.  Make home movies.

A flip camera is less than $200 and very easy to use.  Make videos showing people being friendly to one another, answering questions about what is important to them, and daily routines or special events.  People love watching themselves and their friends.  It allows them to tell a story that they may not be able to tell by themselves.

7.  While maintaining appropriate boundaries, talk about emotions (including your own).

All people have complex feelings regardless of their abilities in other areas, but people don’t always have the words to communicate them.  It is appropriate to model emotional expression.  For example, when I go with a group from our day program to deliver food to families, I tell a story about how I feel.  I say, “It makes me a little sad to know that people don’t have any food, but the family was so happy we brought them food.  It makes me feel happy and proud to help someone else.  I like to do it.”  I just talk about it as we’re driving back.  It’s also appropriate to name clients’/students’/consumers’ emotions, “You seem like you might be a little bored” or “You look so proud to have gotten your pay check.” What you are doing with these easy statements is creating an emotionally safe environment.  (Note: this is way different than unloading personal problems on clients/students/consumers).

8.  When referring to intimate body parts, use the correct word.

9.  During lunch/snack/work breaks prompt folks to talk to one another, even if it the same conversation you had yesterday, and preferably incorporate pictures.

Perhaps combine with number 10 🙂

10.  Have a regular discussions about current events.

One of my favorite stories came out of a current event discussion.  It was during the 2008 primaries and I said that Hillary Clinton was running.  The person I was talking to said, “Hillary sounds like a girls name” and I said, “It is.”  He started laughing hysterically, and said, “Sarah don’t tease me, a woman can’t run for president.”  What a great way to start talking about gender!

Ways to Say No

/ sarahlcurtiss

I developed this to be used in conjunction with the YAI relationship series, but you could definitely use it independently.  I would use this to supplement role playing and practice using each of the saying no strategies.  You can click here to get it as a pdf:

Ways to say no.

My Looking Guide

/ sarahlcurtiss

You might have seen this visual aid at the workshop.  Often folks don’t understand why something as simple as looking at someone else may get them into trouble.  This visual support explains how the other person might feel as well as what they can do in various situations.  Click on the link if you would like to view this image as a pdf (feel free to copy and use it for educational purposes).

My looking guide.