FLASH is a curriculum that was developed in the Seattle area and was adapted for students with special needs. It’s free and has some nice lesson plans. I don’t usually use any of them from start to finish on their own, but it’s a starting place to get ideas. Did I mention that it’s free? Many of the lessons have “transparencies” that are in Power Point form.
This is a curriculum by Katherine McLaughlin at Planned Parenthood, Karen Topper at Green-Mountain Self-Advocates, and Jessica Lindert. I know several folks who use this curriculum and really love it. It was developed for adults, but they have a school expansion now. If you already have the adult version you can get the supplement school materials for free.
I think you get great bang for you buck with this curriculum. It covers different types of relationships, public/private, friendship, communication, decision making, moving from friend to partner/sweetheart, many roads to relationships, being in a relationship, communicating about sex, decision making about sex, challenges or things that could go wrong, do you want to have a child, avoiding pregnancy, and getting a STI.
I wanted to put you in touch with a website called “Living Well with Autism“. They have several Board Maker Social Stories related to privacy.
While I think overall this site has some nice ideas, I’d be careful about using “Good Touch Bad Touch”. Good/Bad may bring up feelings of guilt, could be over generalized, and might be confusing as an assault often starts with touches that feel good then moves to touches that feel bad. Also, there are some studies that have shown that children understand the word touch differently than adults. For example they wouldn’t categorize people kissing as touching, because well, they’re kissing. I think this could be a problem for someone with an intellectual disability that doesn’t categorize well. I like the terms safe and unsafe touch. I also like saying touching makes you feel something. If a touch feels good, it’s probably safe. If a touch doesn’t feel good it’s probably not safe. Then you can teach specific kinds of touches. Having said that, the site gives you some good Social Stories to start with. Pictured left is part of one of their stories.
Just another note on language. There is a movement among abuse prevention advocates to alter some our terminology when talking about sexual abuse prevention. I mention in my workshop that we have to be careful when talking about using education to help prevent sexual abuse because it implies that the individual is responsible for reducing his or her own risk. Alternative terminology includes personal safety skills, abuse-response skills, or self-protection skills.
I’m partnering with a local service provider to offer a 10 week human sexuality class, Connections. I’m really excited about it. The goal is that the community agency will be able to continue offering classes in the future. They will have someone who has experience teaching a class and they will also have a set of materials. This is my first time doing a co-operating method of training so I’ll be keeping you posted on how it is going. If this is successful, it’s a model that I would like to pursue so if you’re in the Champaign-Urbana area and you’re interested, let me know.
The group is really great. I love working with middle school and high school students, but adults are just refreshing. This week we mostly just got to know each other. We did some of my favorite get to know you activities such as making collage of who we are on the outside and the inside.
We also have an undergraduate social work student working with us. She’s developing a newsletter that will go home each week with the participants. The newsletters expand on the topics that we talk about in class.
The other thing that is really neat bout this group is that one of the participants comes to the planning meetings and helps set the group up. He’s taking a participant and instructor role.
I’ve attached all the materials we used for the class.
I’m just going to be honest. I think sex shops can be a little creepy. It really pushes my comfort zone to support someone purchasing sex toys not because I’m uncomfortable with the individual I’m working with’s sexual expression- I’m uncomfortable the sexual of expression of general patrons of the store. Usually the line between sexual exploitation and sexual affirmation is a nice, clear, thick, black line. But in a sex store it’s gets blurrier and it can be difficult to navigate. It pushes me to think about my own biases, but at the same time I don’t think all sex shops affirm sexuality equally.
That’s part of the reason I was so glad to stumble upon “Come As You Are”. The other reason is because they actually know things about serving people with disabilities. “Come As You Are” is a sex shop located in Canada (great for Torantoins, but less than great for Illinoisians). They have a wonderful website, are knowledgeable about people with all different abilities, and are responsive to questions. If you know of place that is safe and accessible or at least responsive to the needs of individuals with disabilities, please share.
The store was featured in this video which I found to be very enlightening in regards to things to consider when supporting someone with purchasing a sex toy. For one, I wasn’t really aware of some of the options out there. The video also goes into several was to match ability needs with sex toy functioning. I will warn you that streaming quality is not that great, but the content is excellent.
Another thing to think about is the use of wedges and ramps for sexual exploration and sexual expression. The Liberator is probably the most popular line of sexual furniture. They look just like the wedges used in the exercise room of our day program (except the ads all have beautiful scantily clad women on them). Using tools for sexual positioning may be the only way some individuals can participate in intercourse or other sexual activities. The how to use videos on their website are more erotic than instructional. There are videos online geared toward instruction. They are explicit, but the participants are fully clothed throughout. Click here for the male positioning and here for female positioning.
It can be a little overwhelming to start thinking about communicating pictorially about human sexuality topics, but there are some supports available.
Many of you already use Board Maker (computer software that helps make visual supports and PECS). They have a “Communicating About Sexuality” add on that is very useful and only costs $15.00 (but you have to already have Board Maker).
If you would like some guidelines on how to approach augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) in regards to sexuality Speak Up has resources that you may find useful. Speak Up is a group dedicated to preventing sexual abuse/victimization among people who use alternative communication. They have guidelines, suggestions for communication displays, and information about building sexual vocabulary. This group surveyed individuals who use AAC and found that ACC users say they need:
- People who recognize that they are sexual
- Information about sexuality
- Vocabulary to communicate about sexuality
- People to communicate with about sexuality
- Accessible resources and services
Sounds pretty darn reasonable to me.
Individuals with physical, cognitive, or emotional disabilities have a right to education about sexuality, sexual health care, and opportunities for socializing and sexual expression. Healthcare workers and other caregivers must receive comprehensive sexuality education, as well as training in understanding and supporting sexual development, behavior, and related healthcare for individuals with disabilities. The policies and procedures of social agencies and healthcare delivery systems should ensure that services and benefits are provided to all persons without discrimination because of disability.
Human sexuality encompasses the sexual knowledge, beliefs, attitudes, values, and behaviors of individuals. Its various dimensions involve the anatomy, physiology, and biochemistry of the sexual response system; identity, orientation, roles, and personality; and thoughts, feelings, and relationships. Sexuality is influenced by ethical, spiritual, cultural, and moral concerns. All persons are sexual, in the broadest sense of the word.
From Sexuality Information & Education Council of the US, www.siecus.org
Teaching human sexuality is about formal lessons, selecting information, and choosing how to teach it, but it’s more than that. To be a sexuality educator you have to see the whole person and be committed to support that person. It’s not easy, it won’t be prefect, and you might make mistakes. But it’s not impossible either and you have lots of tools.
To me, it’s about asking “why not?”. Why not teach someone about different sexual positions? Why not incorporate questions about sexual life into annual planning meetings? Why not teach someone how to ask someone else on a date? Why not affirm someone when they are expressing their sexuality? Sometimes there are good answers to these questions but a lot of times there just aren’t. Being a sexuality educator is about being an advocate. It’s about giving people information in an engaging way they can digest. It’s about teaching skills and changing patterns of behavior. It’s about sending the message that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with who you are. I really appreciate people taking time to read this blog because I think the work you do is really important. Thank you!
This book by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette is eye opening. It’s written by people with disabilities for people with disabilities and focuses on the joys of sexual intimacy. As a typically developing person, it challenged a lot of my assumptions about sex and made me think about new things. Chapters include: Myths About Disability and Sex; Desire and Self-Esteem; Sexual Anatomy and Sexual Response; Communication; Sex with Ourselves; Sex with Others; Oral Sex, Penetration and Positioning; Sex Toys, Books, and Videos; Yoga and Tantric Sex; S/M; Sexual Health; Sexual Violence and Sexuality; Resources; and Glossary of Gender and Sex Terms. I want to share two passages with you.
Sex and Spontaneity
“We’re taught that sex is suppose to be spontaneous, something that just comes naturally (like ‘true love’). This belief is damaging to everyone, but is a real problem for people living with disabilities, because any amount of planning makes sex not spontaneous. Believing in this myth pretty much ensures a lously sex life.
While sex has many meanings, at its heart sex is a process of communication. Whether we are flirting from across a crowded room, giving someone head for the first time, or making love while listening to a piece of music that totally turns us on, being sexual is being in contact with ourselves and our surroundings. The idea that this process can happen without thinking, talking, or planning is ridiculous.
Maybe we are willing to buy into the myth of sexual spontaneity because talking about our desires is difficult. It’s risky, and makes us feel exposed and vulnerable, and often vulnerability is equated with weakness.”
This made me think a lot about the way I teach reproduction and sexual intimacy. I tend to focus a lot sexual behavior, but not as much on the planning and communication that comprises that behavior. Also, I do a lot of role playing, planning out what you’re going to say in advance, and scripting. I’ve never really done that around negotiating intimacy.
“If we were taught anything about sex at all when we were younger, many of us learned that sex was something private, inappropriate to talk about or do in front of others. Privacy becomes a requirement for sexuality.
From someone living in an institution, or using attendant services, or needing the assistance of someone else to facilitate communication, privacy is a completely different reality. The definition of privacy changes when you have no lock on your door, or when you request private time at a specific hours knowing that it will probably be written down in a log-book. This myth is one of those ‘no-win situations,’ because we’re told that real sex is a private matter and, guess what, you can’t have that kind of privacy.”
This passage really challenged me to think about how I teach privacy and how I teach about relationship types. I think sometimes I might ignore that what a lot of people think of as privacy and the individual I am working with reality of privacy are two disparate things.
I do wish this book focused a little more on people with intellectual disability and was written at lower reading level. I do think people with ID/DD could read it with support, especially sections. Much of the book is testimonies by people with disabilities and I think these passages could be great teaching tools. There are also suggested exercises- one of the exercises was about looking at your body. I teach antimony all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever said, “when you’re at home, alone in your bedroom, look at and feel your body and check out the parts we’ve been talking about, you can even use a mirror.”
Parts and Post-it Notes: We started the group out by having them label body parts they already knew. By starting out with safe, comfortable body parts students were more prepared for unknown body parts or parts that may have caused feelings of anxiety.
Terminology: We introduced sexual terminology in written from and asked the students to say the words out loud. Between each word we’d pause and they had a worksheet with the question “I feel…” Reading a word and saying it are easier then looking at a body part so we were building their comfort level. Also, feelings of embarrassment can be difficult for students to manage. This is structuring a way for them to think about and express their feelings.
We had a lot of fun learning about anatomy although the topic was also met with groans, giggles, and our group’s favorite lamentation, “I want to throw up.” More over there was general confusion about what the parts of the body involved with reproduction even are. Essentially, they knew butt, penis, vagina, testicles and breasts but that was it.
Fruity Anatomical Model: The students will made anatomical models of the reproductive organs using fruit. As they made the model, we talked about the function of each part. Again the fruit makes the concept a little more abstract and safe. This is a fun way to engage students in what is essentially a vocabulary task.
We saw some clear developmental differences today. The older kids in the group were able to stick with the more abstract activities and accomplish the tasks, but the younger kids in the group were a little overwhelmed. In the future, I may modify the task for younger students to focus on fewer parts of the body and instead of making the anatomical models, we could play a game with body flash cards.
Privacy: We introduced the concept that privacy is about personal things you want to keep to yourself and explained that the parts of the body we were just talking about were private body parts. We will also introduced that certain places are private, that you share with different people private information or ideas, that ideas can be private. The main distinction is that there is a difference between private and public, but we presented three levels to indicate that there is a continuum of privacy.
We were a little rushed when we got to the privacy section. It was hard for them to transition from private body parts to other concepts of privacy. Although they seemed capable of these ideas, they were a little to revved up from the anatomical models and we needed more time.
For more information on anatomy view our EXPLAINING ANATOMY, YOUTUBE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES: HEALTHCHANNEL, SEXPLANATIONS, AND CSPH, ADULT HUMAN SEXUALITY WEEK 2- ANTATOMY & REPRODUCTION posts
Materials for Today’s Lesson
Songs for Your Body is a curriculum comprised of, you guessed it, songs. They cover hygiene, abuse, masturbation, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, and sexual health. You can preview the songs on their website- I liked the masturbation songs. In general, they’re a little hokey but I think it’s a good example of thinking outside the box. The CD is $15.41 including shipping and handling and comes with a booklet of lyrics and activities.
I have to say, the puberty session went great! It was just at the right level. Here are the activities we did…
Defining Puberty: This was the language we used to define puberty: puberty is your body changing from a child’s body to an adult’s body. It causes changes to your body inside and outside. Everyone goes through puberty but it might happen at different times and people’s bodies change to look different. Puberty is a time when you start to get sexual feelings. You don’t have control over going through puberty, but you do have control over how you react to it. It’s normal to have mixed feelings, some good feelings and some negative feelings. This definition highlights several key features of puberty (it’s in some ways different and some ways the same for everyone, it’s a natural biological process, it can be an adjustment).
They Tell Me I’m Going Through Puberty: This is a story told from the point of view of a teenager about the changes that are happening during puberty. This exercise helps students to understand that many of the changes that are happening in puberty happen to both boys and girls. The narrative format may help students relate to the changes that are occurring.
Boys/Girls/Both: In this activity, participants were given a series of cards each with a change that happens during puberty. They decide if these changes happen to boys, girls, or both. Again, this exercise helps students to understand that many of the changes that are happening in puberty happen to both boys and girls. Many of these changes are repeated from the first exercise although more are introduced. Each card separates out each change as concrete steps.
Puberty Worksheet: This worksheet is a check in on the changes participants have experienced, how they feel about these changes, and changes they anticipate. The worksheet was designed to help students anticipate some of the changes that will happen during puberty and help them to be aware of the changes that are happening in their own body. We use both open ended and multiple choice questions to stimulate different levels of thinking.
Diversity:We showed power point slides with pictures of several people showing a diversity of bodies and ages. Students were asked, “Which ones are going through puberty?”. This activity reinforces the concept that puberty is in some ways different and some ways the same for everyone. One thing that became evident was that the students had difficulty understanding that children hadn’t gone through puberty but the were quick to grasp onto the idea that adults are finished going through puberty. We used a few favorite characters to help the kids get a little excited about the topic.
Click on the Links Below to AccessMaterials
What is facilitated sex? This brief video explains what facilitated sexual activity is and some of the considerations.
Dr. Mitchel Tepper is an expert in the area of sexual health, disabilities, and medical conditions with a specific focus on physical disabilities. His website can connect you with a lot of great information (I especially like his blog).
Some things to keep in mind about facilitated sex…
- Facilitated sex is a continuum. Dr. Sarah Earle suggests it might include providing sex education, fostering an environment that allows intimacy, the procurement of sexual goods, and arranging for paid-for sexual services.
- Many individuals with disabilities would be unable to participate in many parts of sexual expression without some level of facilitation.
- It’s not that abuse and victimization aren’t concerns- they are! It is also important to consider how to support individuals with exploring sexual pleasure and sexual facilitation is part of that picture.
This online store features 33 dvd based resources for teaching human sexuality to individuals with intellectual disability. They have resources for…
- All age ranges
- Boys and girls
Prices range from $35.00 to $250.00 with everything in between. This could be a great place to find what you need.