Friendship & Dating Program: Helping Children and Adults to Acquire Relationship Skills

The Friendships & Dating Program (FDP) offers inclusive teaching plans for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. A unique aspect of this program is its emphasis on preventing interpersonal violence. There is a version of this program for youth with serious emotional disturbance. The FDP focuses on skill development through experimental learning and group activities with an interactive 10-week curricular plan. Interested groups can purchase the curriculum on its own ($600) or purchase the curriculum in combination with a train the trainer support provided live online ($1,800). You can find more information about the FDP from the below link. Some module illustrations are available on the website.

https://www.fdprogram.org/

More Info. Less Weird. AMAZE Takes the Awkward Out of Sex Ed

These days, it is hard to find an age appropriate content about sex, dating and abuse. Children have questions about their bodies, gender and reproduction. Teenagers worry if their bodies are developing normally or not while older adolescents struggle with peer pressure, changing relationships and emerging sexual feelings. AMAZE is an amazing website for parents and educators which helps them to expose their child to age appropriate content about sex through short videos. The website provides an insight to young people to successfully understand puberty, healthy body image, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships, concepts of consent and mutual respect. Video topics are designed to meet the learning objectives outlined in the National Sexuality Education Standards.

Parents are the primary sexual educators of their children. By answering children’s questions, a parent let them know that you are “askable” and establishes an open line of communication that will serve you and your children well as they mature into sexually healthy young adults.

AMAZE also has resources for younger children like the parents’ playlist from amaze jr. It is designed to help parents become comfortable and confident talking to their children openly and honestly at any age.

https://amaze.org/

There are some videos for parents reference.

This video will help parents to know when to talk about sexuality with their kids.

Do you think so playing “doctor – doctor” is safe or not? Check this video out which helps you to communicate your thinking and others about this game.

This video will model to the adolescents with disabilities to learn about manage their relationships with person they like or have attractions. This video guide them to deal with peer pressure and make healthy relationship.

This video helps your child to understand their body parts, difference between a male and female, and similarities between boy and girl.

https://youtu.be/wW627gpkWbw

Sexuality Resources for Parents

Raising an individual with a disability presents a different set of obstacles then an abled individual may, but one topic that all parents must address is sexuality. Individuals with disabilities are sexual beings and therefore deserve an education on sexuality. While parents may acknowledge this need, finding resources and strategies to present the information may be more difficult if you are raising an individual who requires a different method of learning.

The Sexuality Resource Center for Parents provides a well rounded variety of information pertaining to sexuality. The website includes a section of information labeled “for all parents” that contains subjects they believe are useful for all children. In addition, they provide sections titles “For parents of children of typical development”, “For parents of children with developmental disabilities”, and “For parents of children with physical disabilities”. In each section, you can find a variety of information such as basics, specifics, activities, and additional resources. They also include tip guides!

The Sexuality Resource Center for Parents works to provide a better, comprehensive information base for parents to use when addressing sexuality to their child. The variety of knowledge is extremely useful when trying to find information to meet your child’s specific needs. In their own words, their mission statement claims “It’s time to acknowledge that children with developmental disabilities will become adults with sexual feelings, and as such, we must provide them with the information and skills they’ll need to become sexually healthy adults.

http://www.srcp.org/index.html

Sexual Safety Resource: Chicago Children’s Advocacy Center

Chicago Children’s Advocacy Center is a program for sexual abuse prevention and response to crisis. They have supports specifically for children with disabilities. They recommend creating a family safety plan, teaching children about sex and sexuality, learning about sexual development, taking to caregivers/program staff about issues of sexuality, and watching others’ behaviors.I like this resource because the focus in on prevention through increasing the viability of sexuality.

ccac-header-logo

The culture that makes it inappropriate to talk about healthy sex and sexuality creates a hidden space where dangerous sexual behavior can take place.  Whenever we’re talking about prevention, I think that it is important to highlight that children and often adults with developmental disabilities cannot prevent their own abuse. Adults and older children with more power and more control manipulate to create situations where they can abuse. Prevention looks like trying to eliminate those spaces and creating opportunities for reporting.  This agency seems to focus on that method and minimize language that blames the victim.

Here is a webinar which aired live on December 9th, 2015 on Safety & Autism: Helping caregivers and providers talk about sexual abuse and prevention.

High School Human Sexuality 101 Week 1: Welcome

This summer, at TAP in Urbana-Champaign, we are doing an eight week human sexuality group for middle school students.  We have three boys and three girls in our group who range in age throughout the middle school years (from starting 6th grade to finishing 8th grade).   Check out the slides that accompany the lesson.

Our first week was a blast.  You can check out the full curriculum here [Sex Ed week 1].  We used a worksheet to help the students come up with their own definition of human sexuality.  I love the definition we came up with as a group, “Sometimes human sexuality topics make us feel uncomfortable, but it’s a part of life, specifically, part of our private life.  Human sexuality is about how we feel about people like loving someone and liking someone, but sometimes two people’s feelings may not match with each other. Human sexuality has to do with emotions, the body, and relationships.”

We sent a letter home with parents that explained the activities with fairly significant detail, touched on next weeks activities, and provided additional resources.  One of the important parts of this letter was suggestions for ways to incorporate these topics at home.  This week, as it was mostly about introductions, the parent component focused on using the rights and responsibilities at home.

Human Sexuality 101 Week 2- Anatomy

Today’s Agenda

Parts and Post-it Notes:  We started the group out by having them label body parts they already knew.  By starting out with safe, comfortable body parts students were more prepared for unknown body parts or parts that may have caused feelings of anxiety.

Terminology: We introduced sexual terminology in written from and asked the students to say the words out loud.  Between each word we’d pause and they had a worksheet with the question “I feel…” Reading a word and saying it are easier then looking at a body part so we were building their comfort level.  Also, feelings of embarrassment can be difficult for students to manage.  This is structuring a way for them to think about and express their feelings.

We had a lot of fun learning about anatomy although the topic was also met with groans, giggles, and our group’s favorite lamentation, “I want to throw up.”  More over there was general confusion about what the parts of the body involved with reproduction even are.  Essentially, they knew butt, penis, vagina, testicles and breasts but that was it.

Fruity Anatomical Model:  The students will made anatomical models of the reproductive organs using fruit.  As they made the model, we talked about the function of each part.  Again the fruit makes the concept a little more abstract and safe.  This is a fun way to engage students in what is essentially a vocabulary task.

We saw some clear developmental differences today. The older kids in the group were able to stick with the more abstract activities and accomplish the tasks, but the younger kids in the group were a little overwhelmed. In the future, I may modify the task for younger students to focus on fewer parts of the body and instead of making the anatomical models,  we could play a game with body flash cards.

Privacy: We introduced the concept that privacy is about personal things you want to keep to yourself and explained that the parts of the body we were just talking about were private body parts.  We will also introduced that certain places are private, that you share with different people private information or ideas, that ideas can be private.  The main distinction is that there is a difference between private and public, but we presented three levels to indicate that there is a continuum of privacy.

We were a little rushed when we got to the privacy section.  It was hard for them to transition from private body parts to other concepts of privacy.  Although they seemed capable of these ideas, they were a little to revved up from the anatomical models and we needed more time.

For more information on anatomy view our  EXPLAINING ANATOMYYOUTUBE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES: HEALTHCHANNEL, SEXPLANATIONS, AND CSPHADULT HUMAN SEXUALITY WEEK 2- ANTATOMY & REPRODUCTION posts

Materials for Today’s Lesson

Human Sexuality 101 Week 3- Puberty

I have to say, the puberty session went great!  It was just at the right level.  Here are the activities we did…

Defining Puberty: This was the language we used to define puberty: puberty is your body changing from a child’s body to an adult’s body.  It causes changes to your body inside and outside. Everyone goes through puberty but it might happen at different times and people’s bodies change to look different.  Puberty is a time when you start to get sexual feelings.  You don’t have control over going through puberty, but you do have control over how you react to it.  It’s normal to have mixed feelings, some good feelings and some negative feelings.  This definition highlights several key features of puberty (it’s in some ways different and some ways the same for everyone, it’s a natural biological process, it can be an adjustment). 

They Tell Me I’m Going Through Puberty: This is a story told from the point of view of a teenager about the changes that are happening during puberty.  This exercise helps students to understand that many of the changes that are happening in puberty happen to both boys and girls.  The narrative format may help students relate to the changes that are occurring.         

Boys/Girls/Both: In this activity, participants were given a series of cards each with a change that happens during puberty.  They decide if these changes happen to boys, girls, or both.  Again, this exercise helps students to understand that many of the changes that are happening in puberty happen to both boys and girls.  Many of these changes are repeated from the first exercise although more are introduced.  Each card separates out each change as concrete steps.

Puberty Worksheet: This worksheet is a check in on the changes participants have experienced, how they feel about these changes, and changes they anticipate.  The worksheet was designed to help students anticipate some of the changes that will happen during puberty and help them to be aware of the changes that are happening in their own body. We use both open ended and multiple choice questions to stimulate different levels of thinking.

Diversity:We showed power point slides with pictures of several people showing a diversity of bodies and ages.  Students were asked, “Which ones are going through puberty?”.  This activity reinforces the concept that puberty is in some ways different and some ways the same for everyone.  One thing that became evident was that the students had difficulty understanding that children hadn’t gone through puberty but the were quick to grasp onto the idea that adults are finished going through puberty.  We used a few favorite characters to help the kids get a little excited about the topic.

Click on the Links Below to AccessMaterials

Human Sexuality 101- Reproduction

My favorite comment from this session was, “Can we stop working on the worksheet for a minute? I just really want to listen!”  We based the lesson the Nova’sLife’s Greatest Miracle” (you can stream for free or buy the DVD for $20).  We covered the material in one session but didn’t have time for the breakout groups and we went over our allotted time.  We could have easily split it up into two sessions.  The video is very well done and contains a lot of good information.  We had the students fill out a worksheet to help them key into important points and break down euphemisms.  It’s amazing how much they are learning but also what is slipping by.  For example, as we’re watching the sperm and the egg meet I asked, “Is this happening inside the man’s body or inside the woman’s body?” and they didn’t really have any idea.

For the parent component of the session, we manly focused on two questions. 1) What do you think about preemptive birth control? and 2) What are your hopes and fears about your child becoming a parent in the future.  Unfortunately, these are some of those questions without any easy answers.

Download the materials…

Human Sexuality 101 Week 5- Crushes

This topic generated a lot of good discussion.  Our group was a little distracted today (maybe because we had a week break).  For next week we’re going to try a few different classroom management strategies so we can try to spend more time focused.  We’re going to simplify the rights and the responsibilities and give them 3 rules (no talking when I’m talking, no hitting, and no mean comments).  We’ll also use a visual stop sign for if the group gets out of control.  I’ll keep you posted how it goes!  Having said that, despite distractions, I’m confident the group did learn a few things about crushes.

Activities this week…

What is a crush?

Students brainstormed what a person with a crush might be thinking and feeling.  Students varied in their level of understanding as to what a crush is.  This activity helped students understand that crushes are a special set of thoughts and feelings about another person.  They will learned from each other what those thoughts and feelings are.  None of the students in our group expressed ideas about what a crush is that would not be safe if acted upon (I was thinking someone might say something like, “I just want to stare at the person all the time and follow them around.”) We were ready to address any of the items from the brainstorm that were unsafe.   In later discussion we labeled some ideas as unsafe.

How to deal with a crush

We’re used a short video to outline four steps for managing a crush: don’t tell everyone, hang out with mutual friends, talk to them directly, and don’t take it personal if they don’t like you back.  As we watched the video we filled out a worksheet.  The video gives very concrete advice for how to manage a crush.  The questions on the worksheet helped students think about what they might say and how they may feel when trying to manage a crush.

This is where they got a little distracted.  In the future, I would shorten the worksheet so there is only one question per tip.  I would maybe have them work on answering the questions with a partner, then sharing with the group.

Turning someone down

We introduced students to three strategies for turning someone down or saying “NO”: no with a reason, no with an alternative, and no and go.  We introduced these strategies as a way to avoid unwanted crushes.  They can be used in many contexts, but especially in the future, could be use to avoid unwanted sexual behavior.  Students role-played saying no in different ways to someone who has a crush on them.  The role-plays worked really well!  Role-playing can be difficult but it’s a great tool for rehearsing concepts that your hoping students will be able to perform in the future. 

Materials for this week

Human Sexuality Week 6- Body Image

This week, we focused on body image.  This was probably the most difficult concept for students to grasp so far.  In other weeks we’ve focused more on content but this week was more about self expression and they could connect the expression components, however, they really struggled with what exactly body image is and their own self awareness.  For some of the students thinking about body image melted into feelings of self worth.  The strategy we introduced, positive self talk, was also difficult for them to understand.

Activities this week…

What is Body Image? We’re used a pretty simple definition of body image: how you think and feel about your body and appearance.  This definition highlights the cognitive and affective components of body image.

How I Feel About My Body  For this activity we asked students to write down how they feel about their body.  We then collected all the responses, redistributed them, and read them out loud.  This activity allowed students to express their feelings about body image.  It also exposed them to the thoughts and feelings of others.  For the most part students in our group expressed feeling good about their bodies.

Positive Self-Talk  We introduced positive self-talk as a strategy for managing negative ideations about body image.  Each member of the group practiced positive self-talk by using affirmation statements in the mirror.  This was very difficult for some students, even with the scripts.  This may be because they didn’t understand the “why” behind the activity.  This activity exposed them to a strategy for promoting a healthy body image and gave students an opportunity to practice that strategy.

Role Play  Because we know that often, negative thoughts and feelings about body image occur while we are with groups of people, we role played using positive self-talk when in a group.  This was essentially an extension of the previous activity but we made the task slightly more difficult.

Self-Portraits  Body image is one of those topics that is not just about learning facts but mostly about self-awareness and self-expression.  In addition to teaching some concrete strategies for promoting positive body image, we also wanted to provide opportunities to explore thoughts and feelings about appearance.  The self-portraits were another strategy for helping students explore their thoughts and feelings about body image.  For the most part, the kids were really excited about this activity.  We promoted trying to reflect a positive self image, but this didn’t come naturally to all the students.  We also wanted to make sure we respected the right for students to express their genuine emotions.   

Just a note on classroom management.  Distractions were down with the implementation of our simple rights and responsibilities, more firm “nos” and the stop sign.  We did have one student who had a hard time because they had to wait until next week to take the pictures home so the paint could dry.  This is something to anticipate for the future.

Materials for this week…

Human Sexuality Week 7- Hygiene

Hygiene is not on the SEICUS guidelines for what to teach in a human sexuality class, but we find that it can be a hard topic for students.  It also is strongly connected to puberty because it is during puberty that hygiene needs change at the same time young people have more autonomy and responsibility for their hygiene.  We tackled hygiene with a series of activities we called hygiene Olympics.  In small groups, students moved throughout the stations to practice and contemplate hygiene tasks.

  • Hand washing: Students rubbed glitter mixed with lotion on their hands and then had to wash their hands until the glitter came off.  This will helped students to recognize that hand washing is more than just rinsing hands lightly with water.
  • Body washing: We will had life-size body outlines, loofas, and paint.  Students used the paint like it was soap.  This helped students recognize the importance of washing their entire body.
  • Laundry: Students saw a pile of laundry.  They then sorted the clean from the dirty clothing (the dirty clothing are just tee shirts that have been dampened and wrinkled).  The helped students identify clean clothing.
  • Shaving: Students used an orange to practice shaving with a razor and shaving cream.  The teacher in the group explained that boys often shave their face and that girls often shave their legs and underarms. Students had an opportunity to practice shaving. 
  • Deodorant testing: We had several deodorants with the brands blocked out.  Students smelled and voted on their favorite scent.  At this station, teachers  pointed out the importance of wearing deodorant each day and reapplying after activities that cause sweat.  This station emphasized the importance of deodorant use. 
  • My Hygiene Routine: Students saw pictures of different hygiene tasks.  They also had a worksheet that said “My Hygiene Routine.” Students chose what order they would prefer to complete the hygiene tasks.  This activity provided students with control and choice while also committing them to completing the necessary tasks.

Materials for this week

Human Sexuality 101 Week 8: Wrap Up and Review

For the final session of Human Sexuality 101 we reviewed what we learned during the class.  Overall, students seemed to enjoy the class and learn something.  The students also seemed to like each other.  Sexuality is a social topic, so I was excited that students were able to share and connect throughout the class.

Activities

Vote with Your Feet:  We printed ‘true’ and ‘false’ on sheets on the opposite sides of the room.  When presented with true/false statements, participants chose the correct response.  We specifically chose items that we knew were difficult for students.  Then we switched to agree/disagree.  This allowed us to touch upon the difference between facts and opinions.  We also had students make their own statements.  They did a great job.

Booklets:  We passed out booklets to the participants that reviewed all the information we covered and had additional activities for them to do at home. We did complete an evaluation, but I don’t think it was very successful.  I’d consider the evaluation to still be “under construction.”

Materials

Social Signals- Curriculum

Social Signals ($159.oo) is a series of  videos and curriculum are designed to teach adolescent students with autism and intellectual disability about safe relationship skills.  There is also a parent curriculum for $23.99.  They have a sample video and lesson available for free so you can preview before you purchase.  I liked the video.  I like to teach about expected and unexpected behaviors and I think these videos could be a good tool.  There are also sample lessons that accompany the videos.

Spanish Language Resources

I’ve been working on a training for parents who are primarily Spanish speakers so I’ve been looking for materials available in Spanish.  I hit the jackpot when I translated my search terms into Spanish.  I thought you might be interested in my Spanish Resource List.

Free Resources in Spanish Specific to Youth with Disabilities

Books in Spanish and English Specific to Youth with Disabilities

Free Parent Resources in Spanish and English not Specific to Youth with Disabilities

Parent Newsletters and Research about Sexual Behavior and DD

This series of parent news letters is available in English and Spanish.  They provide guidelines for families in regards to talking about sexuality topics.  They are not adapted for children with special needs, but I thought they could be useful regardless (especially the more general issues).  On this page the also have a fact sheet (English only) that has a lot of data about teens sexual behavior.  There is very little (almost no) information about the sexual behavior of adolescents or adults with developmental disabilities but I’ve summarized the research that is available below.   (You would need access to an academic library to read the full articles cited below for free).  Despite the limited research, most people (be they parents or professionals) come to my workshop because they already know people with disabilities have sexual intersts!

There have been several studies that suggest that individuals with ASD have a desire for intimate relationships (Henault & Attwood, 2002; Van Bourgondien, Reichle, & Palmer, 1997; Ousley & Mesibov, 1991). These studies may define “interest” as instances of sexual behavior.  For example, one study that reports the majority of 89 individuals with ASD living in group homes in North Carolina displayed some sort of sexual behavior (Van Bourgondien, Reichle, & Palmer, 1997).  Other studies define “interest” as self-reports of sexual activity and knowledge (Ousley & Mesibov, 1991). In both cases they are reacting to earlier studies that reported that individuals with ASD (and other disabilities) had no interest for intimate relationships with others (Despert,1971; Rumsey, Rapoport, Sceery,1985) and common myths that report individuals with ASD to be asexual (Irvine, 2005).

Despite the trend to move toward a more accepting view of sexual interest among individuals with ASD and other developmental disabilities, there remain questions as to what extent individuals with disabilities are interested in sexual activity. For example, most studies look at sexual behavior however individuals may be interested in intimate relationships even if they are not displaying sexual behavior. Some studies have shown that individuals with more knowledge are less likely to want to engage in sexual activity (Konstantareas & Lunsky,1997); however it seems that the relationship between access to sexuality education and the desire for support with relationship development remains unclear.